when you fast...

*disclaimer*
this post is not targeted toward any individual. I, in no way intend to single anyone out.

this may be a sensitive post for some, others could not care less.

we are currently in the season of Lent, a period in the liturgical year that begins on Ash Wednesday and leads up to Easter. for many, Lent is a time to reflect on Jesus - his life, death and resurrection. self-denial has traditionally been a part of the lenten practice, with fasting being prominent. (fasting = going without food and possibly water/ or going without certain kinds of food for a time)

now, hear my heart before you read any further. I believe this lenten practice to be good and that those choosing to recognize this time in different ways have pure intentions.

with that said - I don't want to hear about what you're giving up for Lent. honestly, I don't think it's any of my business and I think it's goes against Jesus' teaching as you tell everybody about it.

there is a teaching of Jesus found in the Bible in the book of Matthew, chapter 6:
"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

I am not suggesting that there are some flaunting themselves around with their lenten fasts - but I do think that they may be missing some of the point. this is a heart issue.

what is the motivation behind your fast? to prove to yourself (or anyone else) that you can go without? - great! but that's more about will power than anything else.

if your motivation truly is pure - keep your practice that way and do not cheapen it by having to alert anyone around to your great sacrifice.

God knows your heart.

ch-ch-changes

I don't know what David Bowie was singing about, I'm sure a quick google search would answer it for me - but I like the song nonetheless.

what is it about change that affects people so?
I've heard lots of thoughts and opinions on the subject - but I still don't grasp it.
why is it so difficult?
and why is it that those who are proposing change are usually viewed negatively?

now, not all change is good or better. but can we not have room for discussion? because not all change is bad or worse.

what are we so afraid of?

one ineloquent year

it's been one year since I first began this anthematic journey.

quite honestly, I had very low expectations and did not envision that I'd still be blogging a year later, though I have thoroughly enjoyed it.

if you're new here - welcome.
if you've been journeying awhile with me - thanks

I look forward to continuing and subjecting you to my short-comings and subsequent struggles.

cheers.

ps - just before a recent flight, I was rummaging through stacks of books in my office searching for 'something light' to read while flying.
guess what I grabbed as I walked out?

that's right - a little Bonhoeffer, the Cost of Discipleship.
needless to say, it still sits unread

the problem with guilt

I recently returned from a trip to Uganda. I attempted to maintain a blog while I was there to bring people on the journey with us: http://www.fbcwatotoproject.blogspot.com/

after being home for 3 weeks, I am coming to terms with life for me now.
I must tell you - I am not an amazing person. I have no dillusions of grandeur.
I am humbled beyond words.

there are those who think that it was a vacation. there are those who think 'short-term' missions is ineffective.
what they don't know is that most everyone who went paid their own way from their own pocket and that the money raised went straight to the classrooms and Watoto.
they don't know the faces of the lives that were touched and will continue to be touched through the 'short' time we spent there.
they don't know the sustainable ministry of Watoto and how even something as simple as the classrooms that were built will continue to give children a hope in life.

I was honoured to serve alongside selfless people who gave of themselves, their money, their time to serve. they sacrificed much to go.

while in Uganda and upon returning home, there was and is this low-level guilt below the surface of my mind.
I have so much.
I could have just as easily been born an orphan in Uganda instead of into a family in Canada.

but the problem with guilt is this - it atrophies the soul. it may indicate that there is something wrong or something that needs to be changed. but guilt quickly turns into self-pity/ self-loathing/ ambivalence/ and eventually numbness.

I don't want to become numb. I want to be continually broken. I want to be continually raw and new.

I want to move from guilt to thanksgiving. from atrophy to action.

I am blessed. but not for me - I am blessed to be a blessing.
...
a dear friend thought I'd enjoy this. she knows me well.
I hope you enjoy it too:

jewish(ness)

someone once (assuming my disdain for bumper stickers) gave me one that says: "My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter"

no comment.

I have a friend that I don't see often enough who regularly challenges me. over the past few years he's been on a journey to delve into jewish(ness). to view his following of Jesus in the light of Jesus' own human heritage.

what does it mean that Jesus is Jewish?
are we capable of understanding what it means to follow him without doing so in the context of Judaism?
does it matter to you?
should it?

thoughts?

entirely unromantic

I am married. and have been that way since May 17, 2003.

for some, that may seem very brief. for some, that may seem very long.

it is what it is.

I love my wife.

I choose to.

not because she is beautiful, though she is. not because she is talented, though she is. not because she loves me, though she does.

but because I choose to.

I chose to and will continue to choose to.

this may seem entirely unromantic and maybe it is. but love is so much more a choice than it is feeling.

today, I choose to love whether I feel like it or not.
I choose to speak in love, I choose to act in love, I choose to be in love.

...and she makes it so easy

an ineloquent anthem?

- sorry, couldn't help myself with the title.

not to even begin to pretend that I have a sniff about politics, but purely for friendly banter...

there has been talk these past few days since the throne speech about changing the Canadian National Anthem.

thoughts?
- are you in favour of reevaluating the anthem?
- are you offended or vicariously offended by the current anthem?
- what changes would you propose?

a tree in a story about a forest

7 countries in 30 days later, I have returned.

life has changed.

yet life remains the same. maybe the vantage point has change.

my life truly is a story, somedays rivetting, somedays melancholic.

finishing Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, I am again struck by 'story'

"He said to me I was a tree in a story about a forest, and that it was arrogant of me to believe any differently. And he told me the story of the forest is better than the story of the tree."

I am but a tree.