Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I'm not mad...I'm just disappointed

this simple phrase damages me more than I care to admit.

have you heard it before?

have you said it before?

maybe I'm soft, maybe I'm weak - but I loathe this phrase. I hate disappointing people, especially those close to me.

so, when I hear that I'm a disappointment, it stings.

now, you can psycho-analyze my desire to please people or my father-issues all you want - trust me, I've already been there.

what is it about us (yes, I'm including you in this as well) that desires to please?

I'd honestly rather someone just be mad - it'd be far easier to digest.

I cannot be all things to all people. I can be Tyson.

...and when God looks at me, he sees Jesus - and I try my best to remember that.


Anonymous said...

Disappointment is a part of life, being mad doesn't cut it . . . my own thought. We like to please people as much as possible because that is our human nature. God wants us to forgive and forget which is sometimes hard to do, but we just have to do it! We don't want to go the route - "Don't get mad, Get even". Live and let die - Paul McCartney

Dallas Verity said...

I agree...having people disappointed at you is the worst. It is much easier to have one be mad at me, then to be disappointed. Letting people down is not easy... even Jesus "let people down" by not helping them. Paul's desire was to be all things to all people, but I doubt in the end that he was. I know your heart and desire to please and serve others is real, and its a good thing. Just don't let people run over you because you can't please them.
I think we desire to please others because we want other people to like us, to affirm us, to say "good job". We want to feel needed.
Random thoughts of mine, but thanks for your honesty and openness.

josh dock said...

this is a good word indeed. I honestly hate it when I have to go through something like this, especially when I'm a "people pleaser". Although confrontation of any kind is no walk in the park, I do agree with you that sometimes just duking it out and getting it out of your system is better than living with somebody's hidden opinions of you.
and I like what dallas said. Its honest; real.
perhaps the "love God, love people" attitude is in play somewhere here. I mean, often I take it as "love people, THEN love God", and maybe that's where I go wrong...