sheepy sheep

get this, God is happier about a wanderer returning than countless others continuing.

the question is, are you?

dear youth pastor - are you too busy coddling your churchy teens to even notice the one that needs love?
I know, I know - it's the churchy teens' parents that give so that you can have a job (they probably remind you with subtle hints)

dear big-house pastor - are you too busy patting legalistic rumps to even notice those who need grace?
I know, I know - it's those rumps that fill the pews or stackable rows of chairs and 'let' you keep patting them.

dear well-intentioned(?) critic - are you too busy whining and complaining about the faults in the Church to even notice those that need forgiveness?
I know, I know - it's all those faults that give you something to blog about and feel self-righteous about.

dear God - are we too self-indulgent to notice those who need Jesus?

I'm sorry.

"Look at it this way. If someone has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders off, doesn't he leave the ninety-nine and go after the one? And if he finds it, doesn't he make far more over it than over the ninety-nine who stay put? Your Father in heaven feels the same way. He doesn't want to lose even one of these simple believers. "

I'm dying

Gravestone Generator

now, before you think this is a shameless way to get you to read my blog (well, maybe you're right) stick with me.

it's true: I'm dying.

but so are you.

maybe I'm a realist, maybe I'm morbid - so be it.

every day that we are alive we are one day closer to dying - like it or not, it's reality.

I've heard it asked: "how would you live today if you knew you were going to die tomorrow?"
- what decisions would you make?
- what conversations would you have?
- which people would you be with?
- what would you eat?

and I've found myself desiring to live as if I'm going to die soonish.
- love more
- dance more
- sing more
- create more

BUT - I cannot.

the mundanity of life overwhelms.
- eat
- sleep
- work

my question: is there a balance to be found here? somewhere between responsible planning and carpe diem?

how can I live fully today and still go on to live fully tomorrow? the thought itself is fatiguing.

but what am I passing on today to salvage energy for tomorrow, only to pass on then?

...

I'm dying and so are you.

today, let us grab someone we love, declare our love for them, as we dance and sing and create something beautiful.

or not -I'm too tired.

I'm not mad...I'm just disappointed

this simple phrase damages me more than I care to admit.

have you heard it before?

have you said it before?

maybe I'm soft, maybe I'm weak - but I loathe this phrase. I hate disappointing people, especially those close to me.

so, when I hear that I'm a disappointment, it stings.

now, you can psycho-analyze my desire to please people or my father-issues all you want - trust me, I've already been there.

what is it about us (yes, I'm including you in this as well) that desires to please?

I'd honestly rather someone just be mad - it'd be far easier to digest.

I cannot be all things to all people. I can be Tyson.

...and when God looks at me, he sees Jesus - and I try my best to remember that.

death to the orator

is oration dead?

maybe I'll back up a step - oration is, simply a public speech.

so, are public speeches dead?

I've heard it said that "with these new generations coming up with little to no attention span, the use of public speaking over 5 minutes in length will cease."

thoughts, new generations? are you really, as generations as ADD/ADHD as you are treated or pandered to?

or is oration just a dead or dying means of communication?

as much as I enjoy communication through more technological means, I still hold a special place in my heart for someone who is able to grasp the imagination and attention of an audience publicly.

the modulation, the inflection....the pause....the body language, the facial expression, the moment.

teachers, politicians, preachers, activists, among others know the importance of oration, the ability to inspire - but are they just fighting a losing battle?

thoughts?

a vague memory

what is your earliest memory?

what is the first thing that comes to mind as you read that question? is it a memory of happiness? of joy? or sorrow?

or is it less concrete than that? more a collection of vague nuances and happenstance.

does anyone else find it strange that most can't remember the first couple years of our lives? memories are strange indeed. fleeting at times and yet vivid at others.

do you trust your memories? or have they changed over time? growing more and more exaggerated.

have your precious memories become more precious? have your painful memories become more painful?

or have they grown more mundane?

...

I have sat with people as they've died. tragic and beautiful.

and in those last days and moments, memories come.

they remind of a life once passed. regret. success. ambition. ambivalence.

relationships.

experiences.

circumstances.

...

we each have memories. which ones have defined you? which ones are you creating now that will define who you will be? which have you passed on, knowing these memories die with you?

today, stop and remember.

cherish. relive. ache. and start again.