the church of facebook

I'm just finishing off Jesse Rice's book, The Church of Facebook - a very interesting read on how we connect in this hyper-connected age.

and it got me thinking.

how do I connect? where do I find community?
when do I 'feel' the most connected to others?

for me, as much as I enjoy blogging and facebooking and twittering - there's no replacement for the physical.
wrestling with my son, rocking my new daughter, and holding my wife's hand will have no equal online - not to mention the inflection of a voice; the slight gesture of body language; and the smell (albeit a recently utilized diaper)

it never ceases to confound me how someone can share embarassingly intimate details about themself with any and every one online (or who happens to be their facebook friend) and yet when approached face to face will entirely avoid and/or deny the very existence of the admission.

I understand it to a degree, as there is sense of liberation when you share something and get it off your chest - but just so you know, it's still real and it's still out there.

most likely, you came upon this post via facebook or some such online thingy (a technical ethernet term) and I welcome your thoughts because you are already in 'the know'.

- where do you find community? where do you belong?
- what role does online community play in your life?
- are we, as younger generations more or less lonely than the ones previous? or the same?
- what effect will this hyper-connectivity have on our relationships in years to come?

enough questions, my Blackberry (that I wished was an iPhone) is filling up with text messages, bbm's, facebook notifications, emails, and other reminders that I live a lonely (although well-connected life)

I like myself

now, this may sound conceited, self-absorbed and proud...

but, I like myself.
I am increasingly comfortable with who I am.

and for some reason this bothers you, doesn't it? instead of celebrating this, you bemoan it.

"good for you, Mr. I-Like-Myself! good...for...you"

why is this? why do we have such a hard time celebrating others?
if we're honest, our more intial reaction is near-jealousy.

something good happens to someone else, and we wonder why it didn't happen to us.
something bad happens to someone else, and we're glad it didn't happen to us.

man are we proud. we think this world revolves around us.

it doesn't.

and when we start to figure that one out, we begin to like ourselves a little more, because we think about ourselves a little less.

because, in an paradoxical way - the worse we feel about ourselves, the more we dwell on ourselves.
this begins a cycle of self-depreciation which is a form of pride.

pride does not always mean that you think you are the best.

sometimes, and I think rarely labelled as such, pride presents itself as dwelling on how much you don't like yourself.

this is detrimental to how we view others and how we care for others, mostly because we spend so much time beating ourselves up that we rarely have time to think of others.

so stop.

stop beating yourself up and care for someone else.
- take an interest in their life, without having to interject how horrible your life is.
- practically help someone else who is in need, without expecting anything in return.
- get in touch with someone you haven't talked to in a while - just to see how they're doing.
- give to those in need.

when you do this, you'll briefly forget about yourself...and in the process you may like yourself a little more.

and next week, after forgetting about yourself for awhile, you can honestly say - 'I like myself'.

(dis)content

are you content with your life?
where you are right now, as you are - are you content?

is it even possible to be content?
what does it mean to have contentment?

it seems that so many of us are running around - waiting for what's next; wishing things would be different; regretting decisions; etc.

is it possible to just be ok where you are now?

I know, so many questions, so little answers. maybe that's my M.O.

...
but I want to be content. I want to find rest. I want to know peace. I want to be ok.
...

what would have to change in your life for you to find contentment?
more money?
more love?
more time?
less pain?
less loss?
less confusion?

no matter what happens today - I will choose to be content.
no matter what happens tomorrow -  I will choose to be content.

you may think that I am delusional, but I choose to find my contentment in my God - no matter how much money, how much love, how much time, how much pain, how much loss, how much confusion.

mean face

I have a mean neutral face (so I'm told)

I wish I didn't.

I wish my mouth turned slightly upward in a mild grin, welcoming to all those around. birds would begin singing; flowers would bloom; the sun would poke it's playful face out from behind clouds shaped like puppies playing; children would run up to me as I passed by asking me to tell them a story (because people with happy neutral faces obviously love children and stories); and the world would just make sense.

...but I have a mean neutral face.

it's not that I am angry. it's not that I'm frustrated. I'm honestly just neutral and my facial muscles relax into a 'mean position'.

so the next time you see me, give me a little smirk (knowing my penchant for mean neutral faces) and I'll return the same. and maybe the sun will shine anyway.

Stuff Christians Like

Trying to stay as productive as possible - during my 'wait-for-Costco-to-finish-my-tires-3-hours-after-they-said-they-would stint I made every call, text, email I could think of - so now, I blog

I just received the book, Stuff Christians Like by Jonathan Acuff in the mail, having ordered it the first day it was available.

I ripped through it in one afternoon and a bit - laughing and snickering through most all of it.

He nailed it! Picking up on many of the idiosyncracies I have come to see in 'christian life' but could never adequately communicate.

From altar-calls to 7 people you'll meet in a prayer circle; from diagrams of worship-style to the smell of old hymnals with much more in between.

And yet, within the tongue-in-cheek wit of Acuff is a genuine heart for God and people; a man struggling to know.

With the profound insight and scathing poignance of Acuff, I can't help but think that God is laughing right along, though possibly under his breath so not to give the angels the wrong idea. cough

another self-convincing argument

in response to yesterday's post: self-convincing argument - I have a few more thoughts.

one - seemingly, what I observe in this life inevitably becomes a mirror with which I view myself, thus subjecting myself and anyone reading this to these critiques, directly or indirectly as they may be.

two - I am an advocate for self-convincing argumentation.

case in point -
I may not feel loving
I may not want to be hopeful
I may not be naturally joyful

but I choose to be these things (not always, lest you think I have delusions of grandeur)

I argue with myself daily to choose.

thus, I begin to believe what I'm saying. I begin to buy what I'm selling.

and most of all, against my shadier inclinations, I choose to be loved.

self-convincing argument

as I sit down to write this, I have no idea where this is going to lead.

but here's my thought:

if you really have to convince others of the credibility, importance, relevancy and truth of something - is it actually as credible, important, relevant and truthful as you make it out to be?

well, is it?

because, if it was actually all these things you are trying so desperately to communicate, wouldn't that just be apparent? wouldn't these things be evident solely because they are?

or, are you just talking so much, you're hoping one day you'll actually believe what you're saying?

...but then again, I'm the one writing, aren't I?

eat this

drink that

buy this

believe that.

when you fast...

*disclaimer*
this post is not targeted toward any individual. I, in no way intend to single anyone out.

this may be a sensitive post for some, others could not care less.

we are currently in the season of Lent, a period in the liturgical year that begins on Ash Wednesday and leads up to Easter. for many, Lent is a time to reflect on Jesus - his life, death and resurrection. self-denial has traditionally been a part of the lenten practice, with fasting being prominent. (fasting = going without food and possibly water/ or going without certain kinds of food for a time)

now, hear my heart before you read any further. I believe this lenten practice to be good and that those choosing to recognize this time in different ways have pure intentions.

with that said - I don't want to hear about what you're giving up for Lent. honestly, I don't think it's any of my business and I think it's goes against Jesus' teaching as you tell everybody about it.

there is a teaching of Jesus found in the Bible in the book of Matthew, chapter 6:
"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

I am not suggesting that there are some flaunting themselves around with their lenten fasts - but I do think that they may be missing some of the point. this is a heart issue.

what is the motivation behind your fast? to prove to yourself (or anyone else) that you can go without? - great! but that's more about will power than anything else.

if your motivation truly is pure - keep your practice that way and do not cheapen it by having to alert anyone around to your great sacrifice.

God knows your heart.

ch-ch-changes

I don't know what David Bowie was singing about, I'm sure a quick google search would answer it for me - but I like the song nonetheless.

what is it about change that affects people so?
I've heard lots of thoughts and opinions on the subject - but I still don't grasp it.
why is it so difficult?
and why is it that those who are proposing change are usually viewed negatively?

now, not all change is good or better. but can we not have room for discussion? because not all change is bad or worse.

what are we so afraid of?

one ineloquent year

it's been one year since I first began this anthematic journey.

quite honestly, I had very low expectations and did not envision that I'd still be blogging a year later, though I have thoroughly enjoyed it.

if you're new here - welcome.
if you've been journeying awhile with me - thanks

I look forward to continuing and subjecting you to my short-comings and subsequent struggles.

cheers.

ps - just before a recent flight, I was rummaging through stacks of books in my office searching for 'something light' to read while flying.
guess what I grabbed as I walked out?

that's right - a little Bonhoeffer, the Cost of Discipleship.
needless to say, it still sits unread