(dis)content

are you content with your life?
where you are right now, as you are - are you content?

is it even possible to be content?
what does it mean to have contentment?

it seems that so many of us are running around - waiting for what's next; wishing things would be different; regretting decisions; etc.

is it possible to just be ok where you are now?

I know, so many questions, so little answers. maybe that's my M.O.

...
but I want to be content. I want to find rest. I want to know peace. I want to be ok.
...

what would have to change in your life for you to find contentment?
more money?
more love?
more time?
less pain?
less loss?
less confusion?

no matter what happens today - I will choose to be content.
no matter what happens tomorrow -  I will choose to be content.

you may think that I am delusional, but I choose to find my contentment in my God - no matter how much money, how much love, how much time, how much pain, how much loss, how much confusion.

mean face

I have a mean neutral face (so I'm told)

I wish I didn't.

I wish my mouth turned slightly upward in a mild grin, welcoming to all those around. birds would begin singing; flowers would bloom; the sun would poke it's playful face out from behind clouds shaped like puppies playing; children would run up to me as I passed by asking me to tell them a story (because people with happy neutral faces obviously love children and stories); and the world would just make sense.

...but I have a mean neutral face.

it's not that I am angry. it's not that I'm frustrated. I'm honestly just neutral and my facial muscles relax into a 'mean position'.

so the next time you see me, give me a little smirk (knowing my penchant for mean neutral faces) and I'll return the same. and maybe the sun will shine anyway.

Stuff Christians Like

Trying to stay as productive as possible - during my 'wait-for-Costco-to-finish-my-tires-3-hours-after-they-said-they-would stint I made every call, text, email I could think of - so now, I blog

I just received the book, Stuff Christians Like by Jonathan Acuff in the mail, having ordered it the first day it was available.

I ripped through it in one afternoon and a bit - laughing and snickering through most all of it.

He nailed it! Picking up on many of the idiosyncracies I have come to see in 'christian life' but could never adequately communicate.

From altar-calls to 7 people you'll meet in a prayer circle; from diagrams of worship-style to the smell of old hymnals with much more in between.

And yet, within the tongue-in-cheek wit of Acuff is a genuine heart for God and people; a man struggling to know.

With the profound insight and scathing poignance of Acuff, I can't help but think that God is laughing right along, though possibly under his breath so not to give the angels the wrong idea. cough

another self-convincing argument

in response to yesterday's post: self-convincing argument - I have a few more thoughts.

one - seemingly, what I observe in this life inevitably becomes a mirror with which I view myself, thus subjecting myself and anyone reading this to these critiques, directly or indirectly as they may be.

two - I am an advocate for self-convincing argumentation.

case in point -
I may not feel loving
I may not want to be hopeful
I may not be naturally joyful

but I choose to be these things (not always, lest you think I have delusions of grandeur)

I argue with myself daily to choose.

thus, I begin to believe what I'm saying. I begin to buy what I'm selling.

and most of all, against my shadier inclinations, I choose to be loved.

self-convincing argument

as I sit down to write this, I have no idea where this is going to lead.

but here's my thought:

if you really have to convince others of the credibility, importance, relevancy and truth of something - is it actually as credible, important, relevant and truthful as you make it out to be?

well, is it?

because, if it was actually all these things you are trying so desperately to communicate, wouldn't that just be apparent? wouldn't these things be evident solely because they are?

or, are you just talking so much, you're hoping one day you'll actually believe what you're saying?

...but then again, I'm the one writing, aren't I?

eat this

drink that

buy this

believe that.