zombies everywhere!

this is not a halloween post - though it is October 31st

nor is this an anti-halloween post

...

but there are zombies everywhere!

...

as I sat and listened to him I found myself continually nodding my agreement

'how could he see in my head?'

...

there is obviously something going on here - something beneath the surface

these passions and dreams rolling around my head and heart resonating with what I'm hearing

...

there is something going on and I know it's not just with me

there is a stirring among the zombies

can you feel it too?

not just here

and not just there

...

in the midst of chaos and death - life is bursting

can you feel it too?

the wind is changing

...

many are scared

many retreat

but I have hope

those asleep are waking - no longer zombies

...

there is life - deep life

do you have it?

or are you still a zombie? wandering and devouring...

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I'm not scared of zombies - for you see, I was one

the impact of being plateaued 2

I've had some time to cool down after losing the majority of the last post

I posted these, not because I wanted to 'call out' other pastors and leaders, but because they point out some of my own flaws and I bet I'm not the only one

honesty time (I hate this part):

1) I struggle to relinquish control

2) I sometimes am tempted to filter what God may be saying

3) I have perpetuated different classes of Christianity

4) I admit that it is entirely easier to know something as opposed to doing something

5) far too often I default to the 'church service' mentality compared to the 'church in service' mentality

6) I find myself more concerned about what other people think of me rather than what God thinks of me
...

but...

I do not share these because I like to injury myself publically

...

I recently apologized to my church body for not being the leader I should be...I have been lacking a deep, faith-filled following of Jesus

however...

these 'faith-less' days are done for me. they are dead and gone

...

honesty time (I love this part)

1) I am learning to empower and encourage others to take seriously God's call as He leads them

2) I desire to 'allow' God to speak for himself through the ways He chooses to (though, that doesn't mean I do not teach)

3) I am now seeing each Jesus-lovin' follower as equally valuable and equipped for what God wants to do through them (ie: a holy, royal priesthood)

4) I yearn to be driven to act because of what I know

5) I am resisting the mentality of 'come and see' church vs. 'go and show' (forgive the cheeziness - still true)

6) I want Jesus to be famous! And I want to hear the words: "well done, good and faithful servant."

the impact of being plateaued

as a follow-up to yesterday's post - here are 6 areas of impact of poor leadership because of a spiritually-plateaued leader as found in Organic Leadership:

1) Poor leadership needs to control all ministry.

2) Poor leadership needs to filter God's voice.

3) Poor leadership promotes upper-class Christianity.

4) Poor leadership emphasizes knowledge at the expense of obedience.

5) Poor leadership sees church as a worship service more than a service of worship.

6) Poor leadership is lured by fame and fortune.

...

I had this huge, heart-felt response to these questions written - but it was lost

now, I'm sure if I have the strength to re-write it

...

maybe later...

have you plateaued?

I've been digging me some Neil Cole lately - having recently finished his book, Church 3.0 and now on to Organic Leadership

in Organic Leadership, Cole presents a list of characteristics of a spiritually plateaued leader from Terry Walling

I would like to share them with you (specifically spiritual leaders) though I won't go into the explanation - the points speak well enough for themselves:

a spiritually plateaued leader:

1) avoids relationships of personal accountability.


2) rarely applies the truths of God's Word to him- or herself personally.


3) has replaced his or her joy, peace, and love with envy and resentment.


4) frequently looks for greener pastures in other places.


5) finds faults in others more often than in self.


6) is burned-out form lots of busyness that has been substituted for simple intimacy with Christ.


7) compromises on ethical principles once held dear.


8) stays within safe areas of expertise rather than branching out into new learning endeavors.


9) is unable to acknowledge the wisdom of others.


10) has reduced the Christian life to routine.

...

I know I'm not the only one convicted by these statements

a little YFC Saskatoon loving

I am blessed to know some of the most creative, servant-hearted, Jesus-loving people who happen to work with Youth for Christ in Saskatoon


here's a clip (just a glimpse) from some of their ministry in Belize:

John George Interview from Saskatoon Youth For Christ® on Vimeo.

a little too quiet

there's a quote from the critically acclaimed tubular 1991 movie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II, The Secret of the Ooze that (sadly) often comes to mind.

when the Turtles secretly infiltrate The Shredder's junkyard,

Leonardo observes, "The perimeter's quiet."
To which, Donatello replies, "Yeah, a little too quiet."

...

the reason I bring this up is this

as I was reflecting today on how we as Christians go about our lives, I was initially comforted that many people, churches, ministries were quietly 'getting it done'

but I was struck - maybe it's a little too quiet

now, there's something refreshing about the lack of in-your-face churchianity, however, maybe in our attempt to not be 'those people' (I won't name any names) we've shied away from the distinct presence we are called to

maybe the pendulum has swung too far

I've heard the great commission described in a way that 'as you go...make disciples' inferring that as we go about our lives (jobs, education, etc) to make disciples more naturally

but there may be an urgency lost

there may be a passivity included

I agree that we should as we go
- however maybe it's a little too quiet

I don't want the response at the end to be - we quietly went about our way, making little impact

nor that we forcefully went about our way with little compassion, making little impact

...

I never want to be unclear in this:

I, Tyson, love Jesus

I have given and am giving my life for Him

...

there are a lot of major implications that come from such a statement

but I don't want to be too quiet anymore

doubt (a guest post)

I asked a good friend of mine (who'll make a huge impact in this world - just a heads-up) if she'd be willing to write a guest post for me

she graciously accepted

- you can check out her blog at: http://notmebutyou.tumblr.com/

Tyson asked me this question: What has God been breaking your heart over, lately?

My answer: Doubt.

Ephesians 2:8 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God,” and we (rightfully so) put great emphasis on faith. We want to see more, do more, hear more, and believe more, and we need faith to do so. It’s the very foundation of our relationship with Jesus, as Ephesians states.

But.

Sometimes, I struggle with doubt. And it’s not even the ‘little’ doubts about God’s character, or certain aspects of Christianity. No, I struggle with the big ones, the faith-shaking, heart-wrenching, mind-rocking ones about existence, truth and whether this ‘Christianity’ thing is worth it. There, admitted. And this leads me to what God has been breaking my heart over. It hurts me to know that there are Christ-followers in the Church who silently experience and live with doubt.

The thing is, it totally makes sense. If faith is the foundation of absolutely everything concerning us and God, then doubt will be one of the devil’s primary weapons. When Satan tempted Jesus in the desert, he began each temptation with “if” (IF you are who you claim to be, then . . . ), and Satan says the same sorts of things to us. “IF you are a child of God, how could THIS happen? IF God is real, then why does THIS make so much sense?”

But the interesting thing about doubt is that it is a struggle. And as long as it’s a struggle, it’s just like anything else. Sure, we wrestle with it – sometimes losing ground, sometimes experiencing triumph –but in the end we will be victorious. There will be no such thing as ‘faith’ in heaven, for its opposite, doubt, will not exist.  

And the neat thing about it is that God will restore you to faith, if you let Him. What a paradox. In the midst of your doubt, trust God enough to remove it. But that’s why faith is considered a choice. C.S. Lewis said, “Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods.”

So. Brothers and sisters. Please. Be open about the things you are doubting. It’s hard, but we’ve all been there. The last conversation I had about this was one from which I walked away completely and refreshingly faith-full. God created His Church to be a Body for a reason; we were never meant to do this Christ-following thing alone.    

John 20:24-31. God bless.

a proud and blind eye

I don't know where you stand on the Occupy Wall Street movement and I admit my own relative ignorance

however, I have heard far too many people simply writing it off

they right it off in various ways and for various reasons

I don't need to go into the detail here

however, it saddens my heart greatly to hear people who simply condemn the movement based on their limited knowledge

regardless of how you view demonstrations and an occupy movement - there are obvious problems in this world that need to be addressed

the thing is - I think most of us know it too

but it costs too much to enter in this discussion

possibly our way of life
possibly our level of comfort
and definitely how we view our own standard of living and vicariously how we view others'

now, I'm not saying you should go get a tent and set up in your given location

what I am saying is - before you write it off and go back to your life, consider why you don't care enough to engage

there have been many who question the essence of such a movement, asking "what is it that 'they' want"

a decent critique

however, having received no clear answer they write it off as disillusionment

but what if the underlying problems are bigger than a simple, quantifiable answer?

now, I'm an advocate that those who point to a problem provide a potential solution

but turning a proud and blind eye is far worse than simply pointing to a problem

this world is broken and we all know it

a little less dry and a little less cold

aaaaahhhhhhh...(a sigh of relief)

taking the morning to meditate, pray and read was exactly what I've needed (what I've been missing)

...

the iPhone was off

the Franciscan Friars were quiet

and my soul was at peace

...

that elusive silence and solitude was not elusive today

I was immediately aware of my own breathing

like an accordion pumping in and out - rhythmically and cyclically

...

I had forgotten about breathing

I had forgotten about the breath of God in me

...

reading His Word without duty or guilt - but out of love

listening without agenda or needing to speak - but out of love

drawn to pray for needs as they came to mind

...

and clarity - such clarity

vision and heart attuned to the impossible

...

I died a little more today

but feel like I'm breathing fresh air for the first time

my soul, a little less dry and a little less cold

...

still, small voice - we are listening

a little drier and a little colder

silence and solitude

two rare things in my life

but two utterly needed things

...

I've been semi-functioning for too long now without them

my soul a little drier and my heart a little colder than they could/ should be

...

so tomorrow I'm starting to stop again

...

when was the last time you just stopped?

are silence and solitude as foreign in your life as they are in mine?

...

still, small voice - help us listen

guilt and the relentless pursuit of 'betterness'

is there hope for us?

or are we caught in a perpetual cycle of of mediocrity?

there are things that need to be changed - decisions to be made and backed up

something about an old self dying and a new self being put on

...

but realistically, it feels as though we can't even make up our minds

with our words we acknowledge it

yet with our actions we deny it

...

we want to be better

we need to be better

...

but this guilt

it permeates and infects

distorts and weakens

...

is there hope for us?

can we look back one day having changed?

...

defeatist thinking is too easy

'why should we even try at all?'

...

has my faith grown small?

God, if ever we needed you - we need you now

I think we're still figuring out that we're naked and removed from the garden

awkward and insecure

to my disenchanted, disenfranchised friends

brothers and sisters

there is hope

you may think that change is seemingly impossible - that reevaluation is out of the question

you see a dying church

irrelevant
impotent
incapable

and you may very well be right in most of these accusations

however, there is hope

problem is - that hope may very well be found in you (actually, not a problem in my mind)

I know your love for Jesus
I know your love for people

and believe me, I know there is a lot to dislike about the Church - but don't lose your love for it

and if you have already 'fallen out of love' - see her again with new eyes

that awkwardly insecure little girl looking for love and life and meaning - just waiting for you to gently take her hand (even though she probably doesn't even realize it)

join me - not with all the answers, but with a deep desire to see her become the beautiful woman our God created her to be

innocent bystanders - achtung!

as a husband, father, friend, pastor and every other hat I wear - the people around me become the innocent bystanders as I frantically meander this life

all these internal struggles and ideological wrestling matches become spectacle for these poor people

as God breaks my heart (in the best way) over something, I can't help but share

as I'm challenged in an area, I must say something

(un)fortunately, this happens often

...

lately, I have been challenged on what it means to 'be' the church - the body of Jesus

as opposed to what it means to 'do' church

I have no definitive answers yet - though I have some inclings

...

I write this more as a heads-up and an apology - you will be subjected to the ramblings of a man in search (sometimes finding)

...

I am also choosing not to write about Mark Driscoll

everything is rubbish...

I rarely delve into popular blog trending for my personal writing

however, today - I put that norm aside

Steve Jobs died

I mourn his death, not because of my iPhone or iPad or MacBook or the sleek way they all integrate and have changed the way we live

I mourn because one person has died
...

but I got to thinking:

how many others die without so much as a whisper?

who grieves? who mourns for them?

...

and then I got to thinking

as I read posts and blogs and random thoughts from random people:

what will be my mark on this existence? (I know you're all thinking it too)

...

and then I really got thinking:

all my ambition, all my drive - rubbish if I lose grip of one key truth

"the last will be first and the first will be last"

I pray that I will be found faithful as a servant

...

what will your mark be?

will this world be better or worse after you're done here?

vice versa

given a different set of circumstances I could easily be in your place

yes, we all make decisions and have to live with them

but many of us lack the options to choose between

...

I am blessed - it's true

but I know the capability for evil that is within me

and when push comes to shove I don't know if I can truly say that I wouldn't have done the same thing

...but by the grace of God

...

you were but a child with no food

and no one to look up to

right and wrong seemed a lot more grey

does it have to be this way?

...

maybe I was meant to help...?

maybe my blessing should've become yours.

...

I'm sorry

every good and perfect gift

so, I've been reading some Kierkegaard lately

the following is an excerpt from his writing on the passage from James 1:17 -

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

These words are so beautiful, so eloquent, so moving; they are so soothing and so comforting, so simple and comprehensible, so refreshing and so healing. Therefore we will beseech Thee, O God, that Thou wilt make the ears of those who hitherto have not regarded them, willing to accept them; that Thou wilt heal the misunderstanding heart by the understanding of the word, to understand the word; that Thou wilt incline the erring thought under the saving obedience of the word; that Thou wilt give the penitent soul confidence to dare to understand the word; and that Thou wilt make those who have understood it more and more blessed therein, so that they may repeatedly understand it. Amen.

a voice in the desert calling...

the more I think about it, the more simple and true is the calling:

"repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near."

so suscinct

so clear

...

God is near