Ineloquent Anthem

Christian Environmentalism (guest post)

2012-01-17T13:14:00.000-06:00

with Ineloquent Anthem on hiatus lately, we have a wonderful interlude from my good friend, Ryan Mulligan:

It is my personal belief that there is a need for maturation within the Christian faith. It is time for a more sophisticated (and yet, simplified) Christianity. For too long Christians have turned a blind-eye to environmental concerns. There are few spokespeople from the Christian faith that are willing to stand up and say that their God created this earth and therefore it’s their job to protect its integrity.

Growing up I was always confused when I heard Christians (primarily in the United States) talk about environmentalists as though they were part of a radical segment of the population. I also heard the argument that a concern for nature was running the risk of worshipping it and in turn, it can lead to idolatry. Even though I found that argument to be ridiculous, I always found myself a little nervous to tell my Christian friends that I was an environmentalist because of the baggage that came with the term.

I clearly remember travelling to Costa Rica apart of a mission trip with my youth group. While there I thought I was in an untouched paradise. I remember thinking that clearly this was close to Gods unadulterated created beauty. A few friends and I were wandering through a wooded area surrounded by beautiful trees. As we approached a river running through the forest my heart sank. I looked down to see about ten or fifteen McDonalds take-out bags. At that moment I realized God had created a beautiful amazing world and us humans are failing to appreciate and take care of it. If we see nature as something that can be abused or with dollar signs in our eyes, then we are missing the heart of the creator.

While attending bible school, a professor reminded me that when God created, he did so with a perfect order in mind. This creation was made out of his imagination and through his creativity and in the end “it was good”. God created beautiful oceans, tall strong trees, animals free from chemicals, crops free from pesticides and clear, beautiful, blue water. As we watch our world be polluted with man-made pollutants, Christians have stood on the sidelines watching their Creators creation be basterdized.

When I was baptized I was told that the water represented a washing away of impurities as I entered a new phase in my faith journey. Unfortunately for our Christian friends in India and the developing world, this sort of symbolism during baptism is becoming more and more obscure. With sludge, pollutants, oil, human waste and the like, found in their water an entire young generation of believers will never understand the same symbolism of baptism we have understood since the time of Christ.

Most of us will be familiar with Psalm 23. The symbolism of the first verses is incredibly power

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he refreshes my soul.

I pray that we don’t lose that powerful imagery that David gave us in those verse.

Now, symbolism isn’t the only reason Christians should be mobilized for environmentalism. Our scripture commands we mobilize. Genesis 2:15 says ”The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it”. Returning to my professor in bible school that taught a created order of all things, this verse tells me of a created order in which God’s creation takes care of his creation.

Genesis 2:8 “Now the LORD God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. ⁹ The LORD God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food.”

We often don’t think of our God as a gardener but this verse clearly demonstrates a God that cared enough to plant something useful and beautiful at the same time. The Genesis writer also saw fit that God be identified as the planter and creator or Eden. This cannot be ignored. As we see the blooming of a flower, the rushing of a river, or the peacefulness of a forest, perhaps they further reveal an incredible creator. When I draw a picture or write a paper, it originates through my creativity and through my mind. Therefore how can we not see this earth as an outpouring of God and the manifestation of his love?

Another reason we must acknowledge out impact on the planet is that people are being affected by our actions. As Jesus calls for us to care for the marginalized, we must acknowledge that environmental degradation is marginalizing people.

A term emerging in some circles is “Climate Justice”. It is the idea that climate change is an ethical issue. It emphasizes the idea that people are being affected by climate change and it is causing deeper poverty, displacement of people, and drought. From my work at the Canadian International Development Agency (CIDA), I can tell you that without a doubt, climate change is affecting millions of people in Africa and other island nations around the world. The devastating 2011 famine in Somalia has its roots in climate change and resulted in the death of tens of thousands of the world’s most vulnerable.

So what am I asking? Am I asking you to walk to work, change your light bulbs, and eat local food? Well yes! But in fact I’m asking more than that. When an oil company is telling Canadians about economic benefits of oil do your Christian role. Be caretakers of this earth. Ask questions, demand accountability, demand transparency, and demand life over profit. I’m not saying all oil development is bad or that it doesn’t have benefits to the economy but rather I am saying: Ask questions, demand accountability, demand transparency, and ensure we are treasuring life over profit.

When industrial, nuclear and human waste is being dumped in to Canadian and international waterways do your Christian role. Be caretakers of this earth. Ask questions, demand accountability, demand transparency, and ensure we are treasuring life over profit.

When the Canadian Government chooses to forgo environmental responsibilities do your Christian role. Be caretakers of this earth. Ask questions, demand accountability, demand transparency, and ensure we are treasuring life over profit.

In the end I am simply asking Christians to stand up and say: “Excuse me, my creator also created this planet and we demand his creation be treated as an extension of him.” God is good and this planet is a gift of love from our creator.

^{Luke 19:38}

“Blessed is the king who comes in the name of the Lord!”^[a]

“Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”

³⁹ Some of the Pharisees in the crowd said to Jesus, “Teacher, rebuke your disciples!”

⁴⁰ “I tell you,” he replied, “if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out.”

Nature cries out in worship to God and in turn we should sing along.

This is not political, its not about money, its not about anything other than taking care of the outpouring of God’s love for us.

taking a break

2011-12-19T09:41:00.001-06:00

Ineloquent Anthem seems to go in seasons

and I am growing more ok with that

...

tis the season to take a break

see you in 2012

...

in the mean time - catch up with some oldies

Merry Christmas (?)

2011-12-07T17:02:00.001-06:00

it has subtly crept in, year after year

and I couldn't never quite put my finger on it

...

among Christians there seems to be a latent anger around Christmas time

and it is becoming palpable

...

their faces redden as 'Christ is taken out of Christmas' - like He is marginalized by semantics

they obnoxiously wish someone 'Merry Christmas' merely out of spite or to prove a point

...

are these the responses we are called to?

I too am saddened that more do not know my Jesus

but I am not overly surprised that Jesus is being removed by a culture than doesn't recognize Him from a time that has seemingly little to do with Him

...

so my fellow brothers and sisters...you love Jesus?

good

so show it

you want to celebrate Christmas?

good

do it in a way that honours your Lord

...

because quite honestly - you're not acting much like the One you say you celebrate if you are driven to anger and bitterness instead of grace and mercy

...

1st Peter talks about giving an answer to anyone who asks about the hope you have - and to do this with gentleness and respect

is the hope that you're showing calloused and jaded?

or are people even asking you?

...

and may Jesus shine in our hearts so brightly and His love so fully that we desire to serve those who may not acknowledge Christ yet, as we celebrate not just His birth - but His life, death and resurrection

you're awkward

2011-12-06T08:11:00.001-06:00

you are awkward - just face it

we all are to varying degrees at varying times

but don't allow awkwardness (or lack thereof) to be your guide

we skirt around so many important things in attempts to avoid those awkward moments

...

awkwardness is not necessarily an indication that something's wrong

it's merely an indication that you are surrounded by other encultured people, dictating what is and what is not awkward

...

may our lives transcend awkwardness as we love, inspire and serve

and embrace your inner awkwardness (own it)

dissonance

2011-12-01T13:35:00.001-06:00

it's as if life has been in dissonance the past few years

undoubtedly right, yet with tension

...

the chords haven't changed but the sweeping melody is building

what once was discord is transitioning into a harmonious consonance

your lights are on (?)

2011-12-01T12:59:00.000-06:00

"if you drive a black cavalier with the licence plate,&%$023 - your lights are on"

as the words came from my mouth, the bad taste was already forming

is this really what we've become? simple purveyors of information?

...

where is the call for restoration?

the cries for healing and justice and mercy and forgiveness?

God, forgive our near-sightedness

...

"if you are alive and breathing, it's time to turn your light on!"

walk on water

2011-11-29T13:40:00.001-06:00

I want to walk on water

but this boat is so much safer

and there's this thing about drowning that sounds so unpleasant

homeostasis

2011-11-28T13:06:00.001-06:00

"the maintenance of equilibrium within a social group, person, etc."

we tend to revert back to what we know

whether good, bad or otherwise, we work to keep things the 'same'

I know this homeostatic effect
- it's comfortable
- it's predictable
- it's safe

(un)knowingly, I pursue this 'sameness'

as new variables are introduced, I adjust accordingly

anything to remain in control

...

but now I've named it - this tendency to revert back

let us not throw out the proverbial baby

however, let us not be afraid to drain the bathwater

...

because babies grow up

and maturity is the goal

and it's time to get out of the tub

...

are we merely homeostatic?

or are we willing for the sake of Christ to be uncomfortable, unpredictable and risky?

what time is it? (guest post)

2011-11-25T09:58:00.001-06:00

a guest post from one, Ryan Mulligan

Check what time it is. Right now look at the time on your computer, iphone, ipad, iclock and remember it.

Next, ask yourself how much you have. Have you been blessed this year? No doubt your answer will be based on the success of your schooling, career, relationships, sporting activities, family life and so on. Many of us would not measure our blessings on our opportunity to drink enough water, drink clean water, or not spend up to three hours a day fetching water to drink.

Are you female? If so, did you know that in most developing countries women are the ones responsible for gathering water for their families? Imagine the difficulties you would have attending school as a young girl if you spent up to three hours a day retrieving that water. Imagine if your school was not equipped with a bathroom separate from a boy’s bathroom. Imagine if you were required to stay home from school once a week, every month because there were no facilities to give you privacy.

Did you flush the toilet today? On average a toilet uses 1.6 liters of water or more for every flush. In Mozambique, the average person uses 1.3 liters of water per day. You would use that 1.3 liters for all sanitation, cooking, drinking and any other needs you may have.

Every day, 2 million tons of human waste is disposed in to waterways.

In developing countries 70 percent of industrial waste is dumped, untreated into waterways, where those women and girls we spoke of earlier, return it to their families to drink.

Now look at the time. How long did it take you to read this? After you’ve done your quick math think about this… every 20 seconds a child dies as a result of a water related illness. How many children have died in the time it took you to read this?

Are you outraged? Are you experiencing the same pain that God experiences every 20 seconds? This isn’t just about leaving the water running while you brush you teeth. This is the death of God’s created children that were made in the same image you were. I long for Christians to unite in their outrage and empathy. I say empathy because it demands action. Action at the injustices these numbers show. After all, our scripture demands it:

Matthew 25: 34-40

³⁴ “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. ³⁵ For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. ³⁶ I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.’

Then these righteous ones will reply, ‘Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? ³⁸ Or a stranger and show you hospitality? Or naked and give you clothing? ³⁹ When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you?’

⁴⁰ “And the King will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’

There is a worship song that has a line: “Break my heart for what breaks yours”

Look at the time again…

like a child (guest post)

2011-11-21T09:46:00.001-06:00

a guest post from engineer-extraordinaire, Austin Rosom

“Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven…”

Words like these resonate throughout the gospel as Jesus roamed, touching lives, loving, living..

So what stands out.. what stood differently among these children. Was it their age?
But with age comes more understanding of the gospel and ability to grow… right..?
So what was so different about these children. Was it how they lived? Children are
dependent on their parents to look after them and they are fairly simple in the way they live…
But is that where the difference stands out? Living simply…
As adults we like to make everything very complex and we look at everything much different than
a child would.

What sets them apart?

A few weeks ago I had the privilege of sitting down with a 2 year old named Ari, and throwing a ball against a wall. As
one would expect, every time we threw it, it came back. To me, this wasn’t incredible or amazing, it was just..
normal. But to Ari, this was spectacular. His face grew with joy every time that ball rolled back into his lap. For
a good… 20 minutes we threw this same ball against a wall. Still, every time in awe of this magnificent thing.
This got me thinking…
This joy that children have for simple things like balls bouncing off walls, is the same type of awe, and wonder when
they hear the story of Jesus. The awe I saw in Ari’s eyes… was just a small glimpse of that awe. To them, God isn’t normal, its something huge, that is incomprehensible. They do not contemplate theology, split themselves into
denominational groups, or even try to comprehend, that is too complex. When it comes to living, they live simply.

In awe.

Do we get lost in details?
Do we find ourselves forgetting to stand in awe of God?

Jesus make me…. Like a child.

living within the tension

2011-11-17T10:14:00.001-06:00

I am being broken
yet being put back together

continually dying
yet being made alive

bringing the kingdom of heaven here and now
though realizing it can't be fully...yet

there is a tension

...

I want to fight it
I want it to go away
I want one or the other

and yet, there is an undeniable tension

I'm done fighting
I want it to stay
I want both/and

I must live within the tension

...

I see it all around

we run from it, swinging to one side or the other

but we find ourselves smack-dab in the middle of the tension

...and that's right where we need to be

how can it not drive us to Jesus?

how can it not drive us to humility?

...

and like a finely tuned instrument, may we make our song, living within the tension

and when you fall

2011-11-08T14:42:00.000-06:00

we all fall down

it's inevitable - it's going to happen

but, as a good friend of mine pointed out:
- the question is, in which direction are we falling?

...

are we falling toward Jesus or away from Him?

in our falling, are we drawn back to Jesus in the light
or do we cower and crawl back into the darkness

in our falling, do we realize our desperate need for grace?
or do we resolve just to 'do better and try harder next time?

...

are you broken?
have you fallen?

- don't scurry back into the darkness
- but stand up humbly in the gracious light

we are dead to sin - but alive in Christ

come back

2011-11-07T15:13:00.000-06:00

grace.
mercy.
forgiveness.

you have been offered them all freely

family.
love.
safety.

people have offered them to you because of what they have received

...

but you have turned them away

were you too scared of what it all meant?

have you been alone for so long that community disgusts?

...

there is still grace for you. mercy is yet extended. forgiveness continually offered.

what is family if they leave? what is love if not enduring? what is safety that harms?

...

come back my friend

...but do we have a quorum?

2011-11-04T10:01:00.000-06:00

ah...church politics

two words evoking so much emotion and opinion

...

the separation of church and common decency
...

ah...church membership

valid or invalid?
an out-of-date relic or missing vitality?

...

I read an article this morning from RELEVANT Magazine which was quite interesting - please read it

...

but answer me this:

- are you a member of a local church body?
- why or why not?

tea is the catalyst for thoughts (a guest post)

2011-11-03T10:57:00.000-06:00

another guest post by Nalanda Barber

Mayor of Casterbridge: possibly one of the most sobering books I’ve read in a while. Thomas Hardy can write tragedies, let me tell you.

And I say ‘sobering’ instead of ‘tragic’ because I felt the weight and sadness of the world, and of life itself, not of one man. Life is hard. It wrecks people. It ruins them, breaks them, steals from them, destroys them and eventually kills them.

Brutal.

So many things in philosophy bring me back to the Fall. Milton’s Paradise Lost will always have a special fondness to me – God used that, once, to restore to me faith I had lost sight of. Life and its brokenness makes sense because of Genesis 3. But God is good, and the Bible does not end in Genesis 3.

It ends in hope.

then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away

now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them

they will be his people and God himself will be with them and be their God

the old order of things has passed away

He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”

I think it’s called Revelation for a reason.

kudos (I see you)

2011-11-02T14:09:00.001-06:00

a little encouragement for you today:

you love God deeply
you know God's love for you
you love people intentionally because of the love you have received

and I see you

you may think nobody knows and nobody cares - but you're wrong

you may never fully realize the implications of your service...and that's ok

God has chosen to work through you and He will reward you for your faithful obedience

is that enough for you?

don't give up
don't grow tired of doing good
delve further into faith - to the point where you NEED God

that person/ thing/ endeavour that you are feeling pulled towards - run to it

if this is where you're at - take courage, you are not alone

I know you do not serve for the kudos - but I'm giving them anyways

...

you are no longer a zombie and middle-management does not satisfy

middle-management for life

2011-11-01T11:02:00.000-06:00

middle management is the worst (if that's you - I'm sorry)

you've climbed the corporate ladder, you've put in your time
you probably have a decent desk and possibly an office

someone's always telling you what to do, though you rarely have the authority to actually do it

...

but there's something comfortable about the middle, isn't there?

- it's rather noncommittal
- you don't have to make big decisions
- you get to boss around other people, further down the ladder
- there's a sense of entitlement
- and so on

...

it seems that in our attempt to find this 'american dream,' we've actually bought into middle-management ~~Christianity~~ Life:
- noncommittal, making few decisions, bossy, entitled and so on

...

but this is not what we are called to and definitely not what we should aspire to be

we are called to be janitors (with all due respect)
- cleaning toilets
- gathering garbage
- scrubbing floors
- humbling ourselves

Jesus is a servant, yet God

...

what is too beneath you?
- cuz there's some toilets needing some serious scrubbing in Jesus' name

...

may we take off our middle-management ties (pride), put on our work gloves (humility) and serve...because the secret is we're actually kings and queens in God's kingdom.

and get this...those we serve - they bear God's own image, deserving our utmost respect

zombies everywhere!

2011-10-31T11:09:00.000-06:00

this is not a halloween post - though it is October 31st

nor is this an anti-halloween post

...

but there are zombies everywhere!

...

as I sat and listened to him I found myself continually nodding my agreement

'how could he see in my head?'

...

there is obviously something going on here - something beneath the surface

these passions and dreams rolling around my head and heart resonating with what I'm hearing

...

there is something going on and I know it's not just with me

there is a stirring among the zombies

can you feel it too?

not just here

and not just there

...

in the midst of chaos and death - life is bursting

can you feel it too?

the wind is changing

...

many are scared

many retreat

but I have hope

those asleep are waking - no longer zombies

...

there is life - deep life

do you have it?

or are you still a zombie? wandering and devouring...

...

I'm not scared of zombies - for you see, I was one

the impact of being plateaued 2

2011-10-27T15:01:00.000-06:00

I've had some time to cool down after losing the majority of the last post

I posted these, not because I wanted to 'call out' other pastors and leaders, but because they point out some of my own flaws and I bet I'm not the only one

honesty time (I hate this part):

1) I struggle to relinquish control

2) I sometimes am tempted to filter what God may be saying

3) I have perpetuated different classes of Christianity

4) I admit that it is entirely easier to know something as opposed to doing something

5) far too often I default to the 'church service' mentality compared to the 'church in service' mentality

6) I find myself more concerned about what other people think of me rather than what God thinks of me
...

but...

I do not share these because I like to injury myself publically

...

I recently apologized to my church body for not being the leader I should be...I have been lacking a deep, faith-filled following of Jesus

however...

these 'faith-less' days are done for me. they are dead and gone

...

honesty time (I love this part)

1) I am learning to empower and encourage others to take seriously God's call as He leads them

2) I desire to 'allow' God to speak for himself through the ways He chooses to (though, that doesn't mean I do not teach)

3) I am now seeing each Jesus-lovin' follower as equally valuable and equipped for what God wants to do through them (ie: a holy, royal priesthood)

4) I yearn to be driven to act because of what I know

5) I am resisting the mentality of 'come and see' church vs. 'go and show' (forgive the cheeziness - still true)

6) I want Jesus to be famous! And I want to hear the words: "well done, good and faithful servant."

the impact of being plateaued

2011-10-27T10:27:00.000-06:00

as a follow-up to yesterday's post - here are 6 areas of impact of poor leadership because of a spiritually-plateaued leader as found in Organic Leadership:

1) Poor leadership needs to control all ministry.

2) Poor leadership needs to filter God's voice.

3) Poor leadership promotes upper-class Christianity.

4) Poor leadership emphasizes knowledge at the expense of obedience.

5) Poor leadership sees church as a worship service more than a service of worship.

6) Poor leadership is lured by fame and fortune.

...

I had this huge, heart-felt response to these questions written - but it was lost

now, I'm sure if I have the strength to re-write it

...

maybe later...

have you plateaued?

2011-10-26T09:05:00.000-06:00

I've been digging me some Neil Cole lately - having recently finished his book, Church 3.0 and now on to Organic Leadership

in Organic Leadership, Cole presents a list of characteristics of a spiritually plateaued leader from Terry Walling

I would like to share them with you (specifically spiritual leaders) though I won't go into the explanation - the points speak well enough for themselves:

a spiritually plateaued leader:

1) avoids relationships of personal accountability.

2) rarely applies the truths of God's Word to him- or herself personally.

3) has replaced his or her joy, peace, and love with envy and resentment.

4) frequently looks for greener pastures in other places.

5) finds faults in others more often than in self.

6) is burned-out form lots of busyness that has been substituted for simple intimacy with Christ.

7) compromises on ethical principles once held dear.

8) stays within safe areas of expertise rather than branching out into new learning endeavors.

9) is unable to acknowledge the wisdom of others.

10) has reduced the Christian life to routine.

...

I know I'm not the only one convicted by these statements

a little YFC Saskatoon loving

2011-10-25T16:16:00.000-06:00

I am blessed to know some of the most creative, servant-hearted, Jesus-loving people who happen to work with Youth for Christ in Saskatoon

here's a clip (just a glimpse) from some of their ministry in Belize:

John George Interview from Saskatoon Youth For Christ® on Vimeo.

a little too quiet

2011-10-25T09:56:00.000-06:00

there's a quote from the ~~critically acclaimed~~ tubular 1991 movie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II, The Secret of the Ooze that (sadly) often comes to mind.

when the Turtles secretly infiltrate The Shredder's junkyard,

Leonardo observes, "The perimeter's quiet."
To which, Donatello replies, "Yeah, a little too quiet."

...

the reason I bring this up is this

as I was reflecting today on how we as Christians go about our lives, I was initially comforted that many people, churches, ministries were quietly 'getting it done'

but I was struck - maybe it's a little too quiet

now, there's something refreshing about the lack of in-your-face churchianity, however, maybe in our attempt to not be 'those people' (I won't name any names) we've shied away from the distinct presence we are called to

maybe the pendulum has swung too far

I've heard the great commission described in a way that 'as you go...make disciples' inferring that as we go about our lives (jobs, education, etc) to make disciples more naturally

but there may be an urgency lost

there may be a passivity included

I agree that we should as we go
- however maybe it's a little too quiet

I don't want the response at the end to be - we quietly went about our way, making little impact

nor that we forcefully went about our way with little compassion, making little impact

...

I never want to be unclear in this:

I, Tyson, love Jesus

I have given and am giving my life for Him

...

there are a lot of major implications that come from such a statement

but I don't want to be too quiet anymore

doubt (a guest post)

2011-10-24T09:17:00.000-06:00

I asked a good friend of mine (who'll make a huge impact in this world - just a heads-up) if she'd be willing to write a guest post for me

she graciously accepted

- you can check out her blog at: http://notmebutyou.tumblr.com/

Tyson asked me this question: What has God been breaking your heart over, lately?

My answer: Doubt.

Ephesians 2:8 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God,” and we (rightfully so) put great emphasis on faith. We want to see more, do more, hear more, and believe more, and we need faith to do so. It’s the very foundation of our relationship with Jesus, as Ephesians states.

But.

Sometimes, I struggle with doubt. And it’s not even the ‘little’ doubts about God’s character, or certain aspects of Christianity. No, I struggle with the big ones, the faith-shaking, heart-wrenching, mind-rocking ones about existence, truth and whether this ‘Christianity’ thing is worth it. There, admitted. And this leads me to what God has been breaking my heart over. It hurts me to know that there are Christ-followers in the Church who silently experience and live with doubt.

The thing is, it totally makes sense. If faith is the foundation of absolutely everything concerning us and God, then doubt will be one of the devil’s primary weapons. When Satan tempted Jesus in the desert, he began each temptation with “if” (IF you are who you claim to be, then . . . ), and Satan says the same sorts of things to us. “IF you are a child of God, how could THIS happen? IF God is real, then why does THIS make so much sense?”

But the interesting thing about doubt is that it is a struggle. And as long as it’s a struggle, it’s just like anything else. Sure, we wrestle with it – sometimes losing ground, sometimes experiencing triumph –but in the end we will be victorious. There will be no such thing as ‘faith’ in heaven, for its opposite, doubt, will not exist.

And the neat thing about it is that God will restore you to faith, if you let Him. What a paradox. In the midst of your doubt, trust God enough to remove it. But that’s why faith is considered a choice. C.S. Lewis said, “Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason has once accepted, in spite of your changing moods.”

So. Brothers and sisters. Please. Be open about the things you are doubting. It’s hard, but we’ve all been there. The last conversation I had about this was one from which I walked away completely and refreshingly faith-full. God created His Church to be a Body for a reason; we were never meant to do this Christ-following thing alone.

John 20:24-31. God bless.

a proud and blind eye

2011-10-19T14:02:00.001-06:00

I don't know where you stand on the Occupy Wall Street movement and I admit my own relative ignorance

however, I have heard far too many people simply writing it off

they right it off in various ways and for various reasons

I don't need to go into the detail here

however, it saddens my heart greatly to hear people who simply condemn the movement based on their limited knowledge

regardless of how you view demonstrations and an occupy movement - there are obvious problems in this world that need to be addressed

the thing is - I think most of us know it too

but it costs too much to enter in this discussion

possibly our way of life
possibly our level of comfort
and definitely how we view our own standard of living and vicariously how we view others'

now, I'm not saying you should go get a tent and set up in your given location

what I am saying is - before you write it off and go back to your life, consider why you don't care enough to engage

there have been many who question the essence of such a movement, asking "what is it that 'they' want"

a decent critique

however, having received no clear answer they write it off as disillusionment

but what if the underlying problems are bigger than a simple, quantifiable answer?

now, I'm an advocate that those who point to a problem provide a potential solution

but turning a proud and blind eye is far worse than simply pointing to a problem

this world is broken and we all know it

a little less dry and a little less cold

2011-10-18T13:15:00.000-06:00

aaaaahhhhhhh...(a sigh of relief)

taking the morning to meditate, pray and read was exactly what I've needed (what I've been missing)

...

the iPhone was off

the Franciscan Friars were quiet

and my soul was at peace

...

that elusive silence and solitude was not elusive today

I was immediately aware of my own breathing

like an accordion pumping in and out - rhythmically and cyclically

...

I had forgotten about breathing

I had forgotten about the breath of God in me

...

reading His Word without duty or guilt - but out of love

listening without agenda or needing to speak - but out of love

drawn to pray for needs as they came to mind

...

and clarity - such clarity

vision and heart attuned to the impossible

...

I died a little more today

but feel like I'm breathing fresh air for the first time

my soul, a little less dry and a little less cold

...

still, small voice - we are listening

a little drier and a little colder

2011-10-17T17:37:00.000-06:00

silence and solitude

two rare things in my life

but two utterly needed things

...

I've been semi-functioning for too long now without them

my soul a little drier and my heart a little colder than they could/ should be

...

so tomorrow I'm starting to stop again

...

when was the last time you just stopped?

are silence and solitude as foreign in your life as they are in mine?

...

still, small voice - help us listen

guilt and the relentless pursuit of 'betterness'

2011-10-13T14:22:00.000-06:00

is there hope for us?

or are we caught in a perpetual cycle of of mediocrity?

there are things that need to be changed - decisions to be made and backed up

something about an old self dying and a new self being put on

...

but realistically, it feels as though we can't even make up our minds

with our words we acknowledge it

yet with our actions we deny it

...

we want to be better

we need to be better

...

but this guilt

it permeates and infects

distorts and weakens

...

is there hope for us?

can we look back one day having changed?

...

defeatist thinking is too easy

'why should we even try at all?'

...

has my faith grown small?

God, if ever we needed you - we need you now

I think we're still figuring out that we're naked and removed from the garden

awkward and insecure

2011-10-12T14:12:00.001-06:00

to my disenchanted, disenfranchised friends

brothers and sisters

there is hope

you may think that change is seemingly impossible - that reevaluation is out of the question

you see a dying church

irrelevant
impotent
incapable

and you may very well be right in most of these accusations

however, there is hope

problem is - that hope may very well be found in you (actually, not a problem in my mind)

I know your love for Jesus
I know your love for people

and believe me, I know there is a lot to dislike about the Church - but don't lose your love for it

and if you have already 'fallen out of love' - see her again with new eyes

that awkwardly insecure little girl looking for love and life and meaning - just waiting for you to gently take her hand (even though she probably doesn't even realize it)

join me - not with all the answers, but with a deep desire to see her become the beautiful woman our God created her to be

innocent bystanders - achtung!

2011-10-11T14:16:00.000-06:00

as a husband, father, friend, pastor and every other hat I wear - the people around me become the innocent bystanders as I frantically meander this life

all these internal struggles and ideological wrestling matches become spectacle for these poor people

as God breaks my heart (in the best way) over something, I can't help but share

as I'm challenged in an area, I must say something

(un)fortunately, this happens often

...

lately, I have been challenged on what it means to 'be' the church - the body of Jesus

as opposed to what it means to 'do' church

I have no definitive answers yet - though I have some inclings

...

I write this more as a heads-up and an apology - you will be subjected to the ramblings of a man in search (sometimes finding)

...

I am also choosing not to write about Mark Driscoll

everything is rubbish...

2011-10-06T11:12:00.000-06:00

I rarely delve into popular blog trending for my personal writing

however, today - I put that norm aside

Steve Jobs died

I mourn his death, not because of my iPhone or iPad or MacBook or the sleek way they all integrate and have changed the way we live

I mourn because one person has died
...

but I got to thinking:

how many others die without so much as a whisper?

who grieves? who mourns for them?

...

and then I got to thinking

as I read posts and blogs and random thoughts from random people:

what will be my mark on this existence? (I know you're all thinking it too)

...

and then I really got thinking:

all my ambition, all my drive - rubbish if I lose grip of one key truth

"the last will be first and the first will be last"

I pray that I will be found faithful as a servant

...

what will your mark be?

will this world be better or worse after you're done here?

vice versa

2011-10-05T16:29:00.000-06:00

given a different set of circumstances I could easily be in your place

yes, we all make decisions and have to live with them

but many of us lack the options to choose between

...

I am blessed - it's true

but I know the capability for evil that is within me

and when push comes to shove I don't know if I can truly say that I wouldn't have done the same thing

...but by the grace of God

...

you were but a child with no food

and no one to look up to

right and wrong seemed a lot more grey

does it have to be this way?

...

maybe I was meant to help...?

maybe my blessing should've become yours.

...

I'm sorry

every good and perfect gift

2011-10-04T12:34:00.000-06:00

so, I've been reading some Kierkegaard lately

the following is an excerpt from his writing on the passage from James 1:17 -

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows."

These words are so beautiful, so eloquent, so moving; they are so soothing and so comforting, so simple and comprehensible, so refreshing and so healing. Therefore we will beseech Thee, O God, that Thou wilt make the ears of those who hitherto have not regarded them, willing to accept them; that Thou wilt heal the misunderstanding heart by the understanding of the word, to understand the word; that Thou wilt incline the erring thought under the saving obedience of the word; that Thou wilt give the penitent soul confidence to dare to understand the word; and that Thou wilt make those who have understood it more and more blessed therein, so that they may repeatedly understand it. Amen.

a voice in the desert calling...

2011-10-03T13:54:00.000-06:00

the more I think about it, the more simple and true is the calling:

"repent, for the kingdom of heaven is near."

so suscinct

so clear

...

God is near

quit your day job

2011-09-29T10:13:00.000-06:00

what were you born to do?

what are those things that you're skilled at?

those things that you love to do - that when you do them, time flies by.

...

are you doing them?

or at least pursuing them?

...

those dreams and aspirations placed in each are not there by accident

I believe that God has created each of us distinctly with these passions on purpose

to be used to bless others and in so doing bring glory to God.

...

maybe it is time to quit your day job.

the deadly loop

2011-09-28T08:48:00.000-06:00

it always impresses me when people are able to make a substantial change in their life for the better

what is it that drives them to make these sometimes drastic, painstaking changes?

sometimes it is health related, sometimes it is just a new path

but what is their source of motivation?

...

and then there are others

those who continue to make the same choice again and again and again

who at first are surprised that they continue to have the same reactions to their choice

but later find that it is indeed their own choice that brings about the response

...

everyone wants to be those in the first group

but most of us fall into the second

the repetitive, deadly loop of laziness, guilt and numbness

...

what will it take for you to bust out of it?

I'm a heretic!

2011-09-27T10:48:00.000-06:00

so, I'm a heretic...

or maybe I am willing to be...

but I guess it depends on perspective

or who is labelling me a heretic.

because Jesus was viewed by many as a heretic (and worse) and he's alright (maybe a little more than alright)

so maybe I want those who would call Jesus a heretic to label me the same...?

...

what if obediently following God in loving others meant being labelled a heretic?

is it worth it?

but a simple wave

2011-09-26T14:22:00.000-06:00

amidst the flutter of the leaves

the changing of the seasons

whirling and swirling

I stopped

...

actually, it was more like someone stopped me

with a wave

she looked with smiling eyes and a knowing grin

with a wave

and then we moved on

but in that moment we saw each other

we actually saw each other

with a wave

...

do you stop?

do you wave?

do you see each other?

possible migration

2011-02-04T11:04:00.000-06:00

ineloquent anthem may be moving to tumblr - check it out at: ineloquent anthem

day5

2011-01-25T14:07:00.000-06:00

in an effort to combat our own ignorance and presuppositions, it is important to expand our own capacities of understanding and compassion by educating ourselves in realms other than our preference

so today, read an article or blog or chapter of a book with a differing view than you usually do. or, if you rarely ever read -start today. maybe that book you've been putting off for a while or one that was recommended by a friend.

day4

2011-01-24T16:32:00.000-06:00

no special significance to this being the 100th post, but here it is...

for many of us (myself included) - we've developed this sense of entitlement

and it goes far beyond human rights - our view of 'standard of living' has become so perverted and bloated

along with this entitlement complex, there's a thanklessness deep within the recesses of our hearts

so, today - say 'thank you' for something and actually mean it.

day3

2011-01-21T10:34:00.000-06:00

acknowledging that this is no mundane task approached flippantly...

today, begin the process of forgiving that person.

yes, they may do it again. yes, it still hurts.

but your lack of forgiveness is doing nothing but make you a bitter and angry person (and most likely, as a result - you're the one hurting others)

"To forgive is to set someone free and then find out it's you." - Rob Bell

day2

2011-01-20T13:09:00.000-06:00

as the journey continues toward becoming decent human beings we arrive at day2

with the sheer amount of negativity, pessimism and hate in our world, let us bring positivity, optimism and love.

these measures we take are seemingly insignificant - but compounded can change our world one step at a time.

some may be silly or juvenile. while others may have depth we hesitate to go.

...

today, write that text, email, or letter that you've been meaning to but haven't gotten around to (you know the one I mean...)

day1

2011-01-19T16:32:00.000-06:00

I am awake. but am yet waking still.

the dawn is approaching and I welcome it's warmth.

today. one step closer.

by God's grace I will take another tomorrow.

...

smile at a complete stranger (but in a non-creepy way)
what if you loved that person?

dear future self

2010-11-17T09:23:00.000-06:00

I wish I could explain what life is like to you, because I know you will have forgotten the details and left only with vague feelings

I'm confused whether to write in the past or present tense...so I'm choosing the present

overall, life is good - actually quite good, though there is a sneaking suspicion that it's not all that it could be yet...

I hope you're better than me
I hope you're wiser
I hope you're more gentle (is gentler a word?)
I hope you're faith is greater
I hope your love is more full (fuller?)

I'm trying to do things/ change things to bring about these improvements for you - but I get lazy and complacent

speaking of which - sorry for the poor dietary choices that I have made
are you more wrinkly now?
how's the hair situation?

...

have you found the secret yet?

is God close? or are you far?

do you walk with Jesus?

say hi to my wife and kids for me.

strangers on an elevator

2010-10-19T10:42:00.000-06:00

awkwardness no longer bothers me
in a weird, sitcom-esque way - I actually enjoy it

you know those moments that if someone else was there - you'd be killing yourselves laughing?
but it's just you - so it makes a lame story for later instead

these situations are funny because they are quite common, so most of us understand them

our physicality matters
we have a body
we have a presence
and that matters
don't ask me why - but it does

as I sit here in front of my computer, my presence is disembodied in relation to you as you read this

but...

in an elevator - our bodies matter
and there's an unspoken etiquette to how we use them

I won't go into the etiquette now - but think about your last elevator ride

for most people, there is a slight exchange of glances
a chit and/or a chat - typically weather related
a brief question on you desired destination (sounding so much more exotic than just floor)
and then silence

oh...that silence

and in that silence - so many things are said, thought and felt

I have a soul - you have a soul

and in some mysterious way - our bodies are comingled with our souls

how we use our bodies is important, as they are a remarkable reflection of the soul within

but what gets me is how our bodies can be mere inches apart and yet our souls are millions of miles away

and so we ride this metallic box in this urban landscape towards our next exotic destination having never 'engaged' the souls we ride with

but there are those brief, fleeting moments of deep significance that occur from time to time where our souls, screaming to be heard, have transcended to the surface - gasping for breath

and it happens - connection. inexplicable connection with another soul

we thirst for this

but maybe we're just strangers on an elevator...

attune

2010-10-14T10:42:00.000-06:00

character and perspective rarely come easy

I'm not saying I have either - but can appreciate the pain-staking process in obtaining them

driving away from the hospital yesterday, there was this moment of clarity

you know those times where you feel like you can see for the first time what's always been there but you didn't notice?
like your senses are attune to a new song, a new fragrance and a new texture all at once?

that was yesterday

I wish I could describe it for you...

why does it take death to remind me to live?

character and perspective rarely come easy, but rather through a painful ascent

may I not forget this song too soon - may I sing of its words everyday

may I die everyday to rise up to life

...

there are those that I love with a parents' heart
and I don't know what it will take to wake them

what will it take to wake you?

pastor-guilt

2010-10-13T14:27:00.000-06:00

there is an interesting thing that happens to me as I go through this life

apparently as a pastor I carry around this thing that I like to call pastor-guilt

and it's not what you'd expect that to be

it's not me, as a pastor carrying around guilt, rather it's how I obviously make people feel

it goes like this...

I run into someone I haven't seen in awhile and stop to see how they're doing and catch up on life

now, if this persons knows/remembers that I'm a pastor - they'll go into this rambling of guilt-ridden prose

"oh yeah, I know that I haven't been to church in a while"
"I've been doing this and that..."
"I've really been meaning to do this"

I never know quite how to respond

it makes me feel bad actually - making people feel guilty just at that sight of me - yikes

so, in an effort to avoid these situations in the future, let me say this:
- do good
- do those things you feel compelled to do
- don't let guilt run your life
- do right by God
- if you're feeling guilty about something, maybe there is something to it - but please, don't place it on me
- I honestly just want to know how you're doing

but maybe you already told me

are you safe? - an internal monologue

2010-10-08T10:49:00.000-06:00

*stepping into the room*

hi.

I know you can see me, please don't look the other way
we've worked together for 3 years
I know you're busy. I know you've got your life
your kids and your mortgage

and you're pleasant enough
we talk about the seasons changing
and construction slowing our drives
among other unremarkable things

I feel pathetic, like I'm begging for attention
you know what? don't worry about it
but you have a depth
I can tell

it's not like I have major problems
just a handful of minor ones
pretty standard really
but I hurt

did you know that I paint?
yeah - weird hey?
I love it
painting, that is

"what are you doing this weekend?"

my friend died last year
I never told anyone here
didn't even take time off
I don't know why

are you ok with this superficiality?
because I'm growing increasingly tired or it
or apathetic
somedays I can't tell the difference

do you ever daydream about swerving into oncoming traffic?
or off an embankment?
not in a death-wish sort of way
but just for fun?

are you safe...?

"are you safe?"

*exits room*

therapy

2010-10-05T13:21:00.000-06:00

I'm a pastor.

what this entails continues to befuddle me

but I spend most of my time with people in all different capacities
sometimes it means coffee, sometimes it means hospitals, sometimes it means preaching and teaching
but always people.

which works out great because I love people

I enjoy getting to know them
what makes them happy. what makes them sad

I enjoy hearing their stories and telling some of my own

mostly I enjoy listening

but...

I grow tired

not of people - but I need some space

and for me, one of the best forms of therapy is working with my hands

after days of reading and writing, meeting with people, talking, thinking, etc. I can think of little else that revives me as doing something physical and shutting my mind off

my therapy is relatively mindless and blissful and preferrably outside

for many in trades and other physical jobs, they relax by reading or doing something non-physical

it's the opposite for me

I think it has something to do with pure physical exertion and more immediate results - there is something to see and admire for what I have done - like creation

I can step back, fold my arms and feel good - knowing that I DID something

because the majority of my days are much more subtle

serving people is subtle. rarely are there times that I can say "there - I DID that" and mostly because that comes off as selfish - I think you get what I'm saying

but there are those times as I walk with someone through a defining moment in their life and know - this is the only thing for me

those are the moments I cling to

...oh yeah - and golf.

so, what is your therapy?

utterly alone

2010-09-30T11:25:00.000-06:00

is it just me, or are most people walking through this life feeling alone?

no matter what the lifestyle
no matter how many friends
no matter how busy

there's this low-level hum of loneliness

not necessarily debilitating loneliness or even a woe-is-me loneliness

but more of an awareness that you...are...alone (or at least it feels that way)

you're the only one in your head
you're the only one who knows your thoughts
you're the only one who knows this pain - knows these secrets

...or are you?

as a pastor, I should tell you about how mysteriously and miraculously God's own Spirit chooses to live inexplicably intertwined in you when you know who he is and choose him - which I believe

but...sometimes it is still lonely.

I place unfair expectations on my relationships, looking to be made okay again through them
I ask the ones closest to me to make me feel whole
I stumble around looking for something that may not be found

I know God is t(here)...but sometimes it doesn't feel like it

and yet, in the midst of fleeting feelings - I choose to believe

and there are other times when I am so accutely aware of God's 'hereness' there is absolutely no mistaking it

I yearn for those moments
I need that hereness

otherwise, we are utterly alone - but I don't believe that

you're only as good as your last post

2010-09-29T12:59:00.000-06:00

I am continually my own worst critic

starting up this blog again has reopened my heart

open again to both the good and the bad - but I guess I have to take both

there's a weight off my chest and a burden off my shoulders as I release these petty thoughts

but, there's a vulnerability that I would rather not carry with me

as most writers can attest to, though I'd hardly consider myself a 'writer' - you're only as good as the last thing you wrote.

in my case, only as good as the last post

I want to nail it every time, but I can't
I want to pour myself out fully, but I can't

there will be mediocrity, there will be missed marks

but I pray we will be better because of the trip

so, as we continue to journey together - be gentle, knowing I critique far more than you ever could

there will be up's and there will be down's - but we'll come out okay

thanks for journeying with me...and tell your friends.

good news?

2010-09-28T10:07:00.000-06:00

so there's this phrase in churchianity called 'good news'

we find it in english translations of the Bible
I hear it from the pulpit. I see it in the propaganda (maybe too harsh)
but like many churchy phrases, this one is seemingly losing its meaning and depth and power
it's become so engrained in church culture, that rarely does one stop to remember

so, let us stop.

good news.

- is it actually good? or has it become just news for you?
- and is it actually news? or has it become just...well, I don't know...

what do you have in good news if you find it neither good nor news?

there are those who talk about this good news with little thought beyond their 'ticket to heaven'
there are those who talk about this good news with smugness as they 'condemn to hell'
there are those who talk about this good news in ignorance of those in need

what did the angel mean in telling the shepherds that a Saviour had been born - Christ the Lord?

this is bigger than your ticket to heaven
this is bigger than your pride (thank God!)
this is bigger than your ignorance

Jesus is Lord.

so, fellow journeying soul - is this still good news?
and if so - what becomes of it?

decidely moderate

2010-09-24T11:41:00.000-06:00

I've noticed that when I'm with my 'righty' friends (and I use that term in all kindness) I tend to gravitate to a more left approach

I've subsequently noticed that when I'm with my 'lefty' friends (and I use that term in all sarcasm - haha) I tend to gravitate to a more right approach

now, before you charge me with flippantly changing my stance let me say...

I'm decidely moderate

and this is a dangerous thing for me to say, for I run the risk of losing the respect of both the lefties and the righties in so doing

but I see the severity at either end of the spectrum as more dangerous

there are things in this life that aren't quite as cut and dry as people would like to make them out to be

you may think that I'm just noncomittal

but I would submit that I'm very commited to listening (to both sides or more) and attempting to make a decision from there

I prefer that to just going along with whatever the 'groups' are saying

...or maybe I'm just moderately undecided?

I see you

2010-09-23T09:37:00.000-06:00

forgive the creepiness of that title
but...

I see you

yeah, you

you slide through life without so much as a word
you keep quiet and reserved
you hold back
you keep your proverbial cards close
you shove your passions deep down
you keep your head down and your mouth shut
you try and you try to maintain this facade

but I see you
...and you're not fooling me

there's so much more there, I know
there's so much depth to your soul
there are things that boil your blood
there's mystery and passion and life
there's so much more than...this

and I see you.

you have something to say, I just know it
you have wisdom to share
you have so much life and it's killing you

don't keep it in. don't hold it back

let it out...let it out

and let them see you too.

to the next chapter

2010-09-22T13:26:00.000-06:00

I miss writing

I miss creating, albeit ineloquent

I was intending to take the summer off the blog and return in the fall
that meant beginning September 1st...but here we are the true beginning of fall

thus, here I am - ready to pour out my heart

quite honestly it has been quite the journey
wins and losses
encouragement and discouragement

I found the less I wrote, the less I felt like writing and the less I felt inspired
a weird cycle indeed

so, in attempt to inspire inspiration...I write

I find myself back on themes of hope and disappointment. of pain and enlightenment

and God.
God is always there (or here, depending on your stance)

I want to be insprired and to inspire
I want God and I want life
I want to sip my coffee and reflect
I want to converse and ponder
I want to hug my kids so hard that they'll never forget my love
I want to laugh. I actually want to cry
I want to mend and heal and restore and reconcile

here's to the next chapter...

may we love more, regret less and revel in the joy of it all.

cheers!

more or less human

2010-07-15T09:48:00.000-06:00

it seems that in life, there is much loss.

we each experience loss in our own way.

there's no instruction manual on how to grieve and mourn
and many flounder when confronted with loss.

some face it head-on.
some ignore.

and many more in between.

some self-medicate.
some self-deny.

and many more in between.

there is difficult balance to maintain between acknowledging the loss
and not letting it incapacitate you.

some weep and wail.
some bite their lip.

and many more in between.

I say:
- feel it and know it
- embrace it and learn it.

you have a choice:
- allow the loss to make you more or less human.

the church of facebook

2010-06-03T10:41:00.000-06:00

I'm just finishing off Jesse Rice's book, The Church of Facebook - a very interesting read on how we connect in this hyper-connected age.

and it got me thinking.

how do I connect? where do I find community?
when do I 'feel' the most connected to others?

for me, as much as I enjoy blogging and facebooking and twittering - there's no replacement for the physical.
wrestling with my son, rocking my new daughter, and holding my wife's hand will have no equal online - not to mention the inflection of a voice; the slight gesture of body language; and the smell (albeit a recently utilized diaper)

it never ceases to confound me how someone can share embarassingly intimate details about themself with any and every one online (or who happens to be their facebook friend) and yet when approached face to face will entirely avoid and/or deny the very existence of the admission.

I understand it to a degree, as there is sense of liberation when you share something and get it off your chest - but just so you know, it's still real and it's still out there.

most likely, you came upon this post via facebook or some such online thingy (a technical ethernet term) and I welcome your thoughts because you are already in 'the know'.

- where do you find community? where do you belong?
- what role does online community play in your life?
- are we, as younger generations more or less lonely than the ones previous? or the same?
- what effect will this hyper-connectivity have on our relationships in years to come?

enough questions, my Blackberry (that I wished was an iPhone) is filling up with text messages, bbm's, facebook notifications, emails, and other reminders that I live a lonely (although well-connected life)

I like myself

2010-05-28T11:27:00.000-06:00

now, this may sound conceited, self-absorbed and proud...

but, I like myself.
I am increasingly comfortable with who I am.

and for some reason this bothers you, doesn't it? instead of celebrating this, you bemoan it.

"good for you, Mr. I-Like-Myself! good...for...you"

why is this? why do we have such a hard time celebrating others?
if we're honest, our more intial reaction is near-jealousy.

something good happens to someone else, and we wonder why it didn't happen to us.
something bad happens to someone else, and we're glad it didn't happen to us.

man are we proud. we think this world revolves around us.

it doesn't.

and when we start to figure that one out, we begin to like ourselves a little more, because we think about ourselves a little less.

because, in an paradoxical way - the worse we feel about ourselves, the more we dwell on ourselves.
this begins a cycle of self-depreciation which is a form of pride.

pride does not always mean that you think you are the best.

sometimes, and I think rarely labelled as such, pride presents itself as dwelling on how much you don't like yourself.

this is detrimental to how we view others and how we care for others, mostly because we spend so much time beating ourselves up that we rarely have time to think of others.

so stop.

stop beating yourself up and care for someone else.
- take an interest in their life, without having to interject how horrible your life is.
- practically help someone else who is in need, without expecting anything in return.
- get in touch with someone you haven't talked to in a while - just to see how they're doing.
- give to those in need.

when you do this, you'll briefly forget about yourself...and in the process you may like yourself a little more.

and next week, after forgetting about yourself for awhile, you can honestly say - 'I like myself'.

(dis)content

2010-04-28T16:44:00.000-06:00

are you content with your life?
where you are right now, as you are - are you content?

is it even possible to be content?
what does it mean to have contentment?

it seems that so many of us are running around - waiting for what's next; wishing things would be different; regretting decisions; etc.

is it possible to just be ok where you are now?

I know, so many questions, so little answers. maybe that's my M.O.

...
but I want to be content. I want to find rest. I want to know peace. I want to be ok.
...

what would have to change in your life for you to find contentment?
more money?
more love?
more time?
less pain?
less loss?
less confusion?

no matter what happens today - I will choose to be content.
no matter what happens tomorrow - I will choose to be content.

you may think that I am delusional, but I choose to find my contentment in my God - no matter how much money, how much love, how much time, how much pain, how much loss, how much confusion.

mean face

2010-04-13T10:16:00.000-06:00

I have a mean neutral face (so I'm told)

I wish I didn't.

I wish my mouth turned slightly upward in a mild grin, welcoming to all those around. birds would begin singing; flowers would bloom; the sun would poke it's playful face out from behind clouds shaped like puppies playing; children would run up to me as I passed by asking me to tell them a story (because people with happy neutral faces obviously love children and stories); and the world would just make sense.

...but I have a mean neutral face.

it's not that I am angry. it's not that I'm frustrated. I'm honestly just neutral and my facial muscles relax into a 'mean position'.

so the next time you see me, give me a little smirk (knowing my penchant for mean neutral faces) and I'll return the same. and maybe the sun will shine anyway.

Stuff Christians Like

2010-04-09T21:50:00.000-06:00

Trying to stay as productive as possible - during my 'wait-for-Costco-to-finish-my-tires-3-hours-after-they-said-they-would stint I made every call, text, email I could think of - so now, I blog

I just received the book, Stuff Christians Like by Jonathan Acuff in the mail, having ordered it the first day it was available.

I ripped through it in one afternoon and a bit - laughing and snickering through most all of it.

He nailed it! Picking up on many of the idiosyncracies I have come to see in 'christian life' but could never adequately communicate.

From altar-calls to 7 people you'll meet in a prayer circle; from diagrams of worship-style to the smell of old hymnals with much more in between.

And yet, within the tongue-in-cheek wit of Acuff is a genuine heart for God and people; a man struggling to know.

With the profound insight and scathing poignance of Acuff, I can't help but think that God is laughing right along, though possibly under his breath so not to give the angels the wrong idea. cough

another self-convincing argument

2010-04-08T11:12:00.000-06:00

in response to yesterday's post: self-convincing argument - I have a few more thoughts.

one - seemingly, what I observe in this life inevitably becomes a mirror with which I view myself, thus subjecting myself and anyone reading this to these critiques, directly or indirectly as they may be.

two - I am an advocate for self-convincing argumentation.

case in point -
I may not feel loving
I may not want to be hopeful
I may not be naturally joyful

but I choose to be these things (not always, lest you think I have delusions of grandeur)

I argue with myself daily to choose.

thus, I begin to believe what I'm saying. I begin to buy what I'm selling.

and most of all, against my shadier inclinations, I choose to be loved.

self-convincing argument

2010-04-07T14:25:00.000-06:00

as I sit down to write this, I have no idea where this is going to lead.

but here's my thought:

if you really have to convince others of the credibility, importance, relevancy and truth of something - is it actually as credible, important, relevant and truthful as you make it out to be?

well, is it?

because, if it was actually all these things you are trying so desperately to communicate, wouldn't that just be apparent? wouldn't these things be evident solely because they are?

or, are you just talking so much, you're hoping one day you'll actually believe what you're saying?

...but then again, I'm the one writing, aren't I?

eat this

drink that

buy this

believe that.

when you fast...

2010-03-26T11:00:00.000-06:00

*disclaimer*
this post is not targeted toward any individual. I, in no way intend to single anyone out.

this may be a sensitive post for some, others could not care less.

we are currently in the season of Lent, a period in the liturgical year that begins on Ash Wednesday and leads up to Easter. for many, Lent is a time to reflect on Jesus - his life, death and resurrection. self-denial has traditionally been a part of the lenten practice, with fasting being prominent. (fasting = going without food and possibly water/ or going without certain kinds of food for a time)

now, hear my heart before you read any further. I believe this lenten practice to be good and that those choosing to recognize this time in different ways have pure intentions.

with that said - I don't want to hear about what you're giving up for Lent. honestly, I don't think it's any of my business and I think it's goes against Jesus' teaching as you tell everybody about it.

there is a teaching of Jesus found in the Bible in the book of Matthew, chapter 6:
"When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

I am not suggesting that there are some flaunting themselves around with their lenten fasts - but I do think that they may be missing some of the point. this is a heart issue.

what is the motivation behind your fast? to prove to yourself (or anyone else) that you can go without? - great! but that's more about will power than anything else.

if your motivation truly is pure - keep your practice that way and do not cheapen it by having to alert anyone around to your great sacrifice.

God knows your heart.

ch-ch-changes

2010-03-24T16:26:00.000-06:00

I don't know what David Bowie was singing about, I'm sure a quick google search would answer it for me - but I like the song nonetheless.

what is it about change that affects people so?
I've heard lots of thoughts and opinions on the subject - but I still don't grasp it.
why is it so difficult?
and why is it that those who are proposing change are usually viewed negatively?

now, not all change is good or better. but can we not have room for discussion? because not all change is bad or worse.

what are we so afraid of?

one ineloquent year

2010-03-16T12:10:00.000-06:00

it's been one year since I first began this anthematic journey.

quite honestly, I had very low expectations and did not envision that I'd still be blogging a year later, though I have thoroughly enjoyed it.

if you're new here - welcome.
if you've been journeying awhile with me - thanks

I look forward to continuing and subjecting you to my short-comings and subsequent struggles.

cheers.

ps - just before a recent flight, I was rummaging through stacks of books in my office searching for 'something light' to read while flying.
guess what I grabbed as I walked out?

that's right - a little Bonhoeffer, the Cost of Discipleship.
needless to say, it still sits unread

the problem with guilt

2010-03-12T10:48:00.000-06:00

I recently returned from a trip to Uganda. I attempted to maintain a blog while I was there to bring people on the journey with us: http://www.fbcwatotoproject.blogspot.com/

after being home for 3 weeks, I am coming to terms with life for me now.
I must tell you - I am not an amazing person. I have no dillusions of grandeur.
I am humbled beyond words.

there are those who think that it was a vacation. there are those who think 'short-term' missions is ineffective.
what they don't know is that most everyone who went paid their own way from their own pocket and that the money raised went straight to the classrooms and Watoto.
they don't know the faces of the lives that were touched and will continue to be touched through the 'short' time we spent there.
they don't know the sustainable ministry of Watoto and how even something as simple as the classrooms that were built will continue to give children a hope in life.

I was honoured to serve alongside selfless people who gave of themselves, their money, their time to serve. they sacrificed much to go.

while in Uganda and upon returning home, there was and is this low-level guilt below the surface of my mind.
I have so much.
I could have just as easily been born an orphan in Uganda instead of into a family in Canada.

but the problem with guilt is this - it atrophies the soul. it may indicate that there is something wrong or something that needs to be changed. but guilt quickly turns into self-pity/ self-loathing/ ambivalence/ and eventually numbness.

I don't want to become numb. I want to be continually broken. I want to be continually raw and new.

I want to move from guilt to thanksgiving. from atrophy to action.

I am blessed. but not for me - I am blessed to be a blessing.
...
a dear friend thought I'd enjoy this. she knows me well.
I hope you enjoy it too:

jewish(ness)

2010-03-11T11:58:00.000-06:00

someone once (assuming my disdain for bumper stickers) gave me one that says: "My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter"

no comment.

I have a friend that I don't see often enough who regularly challenges me. over the past few years he's been on a journey to delve into jewish(ness). to view his following of Jesus in the light of Jesus' own human heritage.

what does it mean that Jesus is Jewish?
are we capable of understanding what it means to follow him without doing so in the context of Judaism?
does it matter to you?
should it?

thoughts?

entirely unromantic

2010-03-10T14:01:00.000-06:00

I am married. and have been that way since May 17, 2003.

for some, that may seem very brief. for some, that may seem very long.

it is what it is.

I love my wife.

I choose to.

not because she is beautiful, though she is. not because she is talented, though she is. not because she loves me, though she does.

but because I choose to.

I chose to and will continue to choose to.

this may seem entirely unromantic and maybe it is. but love is so much more a choice than it is feeling.

today, I choose to love whether I feel like it or not.
I choose to speak in love, I choose to act in love, I choose to be in love.

...and she makes it so easy

an ineloquent anthem?

2010-03-05T09:40:00.000-06:00

- sorry, couldn't help myself with the title.

not to even begin to pretend that I have a sniff about politics, but purely for friendly banter...

there has been talk these past few days since the throne speech about changing the Canadian National Anthem.

thoughts?
- are you in favour of reevaluating the anthem?
- are you offended or vicariously offended by the current anthem?
- what changes would you propose?

a tree in a story about a forest

2010-03-02T14:29:00.000-06:00

7 countries in 30 days later, I have returned.

life has changed.

yet life remains the same. maybe the vantage point has change.

my life truly is a story, somedays rivetting, somedays melancholic.

finishing Donald Miller's A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, I am again struck by 'story'

"He said to me I was a tree in a story about a forest, and that it was arrogant of me to believe any differently. And he told me the story of the forest is better than the story of the tree."

I am but a tree.

Uganda

2010-01-07T10:28:00.000-06:00

I am going with a team to Uganda. We leave in just under a month.

During that time I hope to 'consistently' update the blog I've created for the trip, FBC Watoto Project.

Please follow along with our journeys, joys, miseries and experiences as we serve the children of Uganda.

acceptable snobbery

2009-12-27T15:07:00.000-06:00

it's struck me recently that we've become a society of like or dislike. now, facebook really has nothing to do with it - but the opportunity to casually boast about that which we like or dislike has become second nature to many.

so, I've made a decision - I'm going to like more things. no, I'm not going to click 'like' more often.

what I am going to do is this: cherish more.

my life, my family, my friends, my experiences...but more than that.

instead of necessarily categorizing the items in life to like or dislike automatically - I want to like more/ cherish more. things that may not be in my scope of natural-likeness.

it's become acceptable snobbery to align ourselves with this genre of music or that, this type of movie or that, this book or that, etc.

we shut out the things we don't like. closed-minded souls we are.

but I want to appreciate more. see the hidden qualities. grasp the texture of an unknown tapestry.

so, you listen to your country music, watching Twilight and reading it as well - and I'll be standing there silently applauding your horrible choice in entertainment but appreciating it anew all the same.

the stories we live

2009-12-18T14:35:00.000-06:00

so, I'm reading this book by Donald Miller called, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years. It's actually the book I was helping to promote in a past blog post.

following that post, I had to do far more apologizing than I thought I would - apparently people (few as they may be) gave me far more credit than I'm due. a few actually took me at my word and believed I had co-authored a book with Donald Miller, which I still feel horrible about to this day, though I laugh quietly about it as well.

enough about that.

as I'm reading this new book, the concept of 'story' has been slapping me in the face - mostly because that is what the book is about.

here is a snippet:

"The ambitions we have will become the stories we live. If you want to know what a person's story is about, just ask them what they want. If we don't want anything, we are living boring stories, and if we want a Roomba vaccum cleaner, we are living stupid stories. If it won't work in a story, it won't work in life."

thoughts? reactions?

ignorant or enlightened?

2009-12-17T16:06:00.000-06:00

possibly somewhere in between.

I am on a journey. I am attempting to be honest with myself.

admittedly, there are many things I do not know about which I would care to know more about.

thus, this post.

I am asking for recommendations of books, articles, blogs, etc. What would you suggest?

What are the things that changed you, formed you, stretched you to become who you are now?

sheepy sheep

2009-11-26T12:45:00.000-06:00

get this, God is happier about a wanderer returning than countless others continuing.

the question is, are you?

dear youth pastor - are you too busy coddling your churchy teens to even notice the one that needs love?
I know, I know - it's the churchy teens' parents that give so that you can have a job (they probably remind you with subtle hints)

dear big-house pastor - are you too busy patting legalistic rumps to even notice those who need grace?
I know, I know - it's those rumps that fill the pews or stackable rows of chairs and 'let' you keep patting them.

dear well-intentioned(?) critic - are you too busy whining and complaining about the faults in the Church to even notice those that need forgiveness?
I know, I know - it's all those faults that give you something to blog about and feel self-righteous about.

dear God - are we too self-indulgent to notice those who need Jesus?

I'm sorry.

"Look at it this way. If someone has a hundred sheep and one of them wanders off, doesn't he leave the ninety-nine and go after the one? And if he finds it, doesn't he make far more over it than over the ninety-nine who stay put? Your Father in heaven feels the same way. He doesn't want to lose even one of these simple believers. "

I'm dying

2009-11-25T12:44:00.000-06:00

Gravestone Generator

now, before you think this is a shameless way to get you to read my blog (well, maybe you're right) stick with me.

it's true: I'm dying.

but so are you.

maybe I'm a realist, maybe I'm morbid - so be it.

every day that we are alive we are one day closer to dying - like it or not, it's reality.

I've heard it asked: "how would you live today if you knew you were going to die tomorrow?"
- what decisions would you make?
- what conversations would you have?
- which people would you be with?
- what would you eat?

and I've found myself desiring to live as if I'm going to die soonish.
- love more
- dance more
- sing more
- create more

BUT - I cannot.

the mundanity of life overwhelms.
- eat
- sleep
- work

my question: is there a balance to be found here? somewhere between responsible planning and carpe diem?

how can I live fully today and still go on to live fully tomorrow? the thought itself is fatiguing.

but what am I passing on today to salvage energy for tomorrow, only to pass on then?

...

I'm dying and so are you.

today, let us grab someone we love, declare our love for them, as we dance and sing and create something beautiful.

or not -I'm too tired.

I'm not mad...I'm just disappointed

2009-11-24T18:13:00.000-06:00

this simple phrase damages me more than I care to admit.

have you heard it before?

have you said it before?

maybe I'm soft, maybe I'm weak - but I loathe this phrase. I hate disappointing people, especially those close to me.

so, when I hear that I'm a disappointment, it stings.

now, you can psycho-analyze my desire to please people or my father-issues all you want - trust me, I've already been there.

what is it about us (yes, I'm including you in this as well) that desires to please?

I'd honestly rather someone just be mad - it'd be far easier to digest.

I cannot be all things to all people. I can be Tyson.

...and when God looks at me, he sees Jesus - and I try my best to remember that.

death to the orator

2009-11-05T11:04:00.000-06:00

is oration dead?

maybe I'll back up a step - oration is, simply a public speech.

so, are public speeches dead?

I've heard it said that "with these new generations coming up with little to no attention span, the use of public speaking over 5 minutes in length will cease."

thoughts, new generations? are you really, as generations as ADD/ADHD as you are treated or pandered to?

or is oration just a dead or dying means of communication?

as much as I enjoy communication through more technological means, I still hold a special place in my heart for someone who is able to grasp the imagination and attention of an audience publicly.

the modulation, the inflection....the pause....the body language, the facial expression, the moment.

teachers, politicians, preachers, activists, among others know the importance of oration, the ability to inspire - but are they just fighting a losing battle?

thoughts?

a vague memory

2009-11-04T10:17:00.000-06:00

what is your earliest memory?

what is the first thing that comes to mind as you read that question? is it a memory of happiness? of joy? or sorrow?

or is it less concrete than that? more a collection of vague nuances and happenstance.

does anyone else find it strange that most can't remember the first couple years of our lives? memories are strange indeed. fleeting at times and yet vivid at others.

do you trust your memories? or have they changed over time? growing more and more exaggerated.

have your precious memories become more precious? have your painful memories become more painful?

or have they grown more mundane?

...

I have sat with people as they've died. tragic and beautiful.

and in those last days and moments, memories come.

they remind of a life once passed. regret. success. ambition. ambivalence.

relationships.

experiences.

circumstances.

...

we each have memories. which ones have defined you? which ones are you creating now that will define who you will be? which have you passed on, knowing these memories die with you?

today, stop and remember.

cherish. relive. ache. and start again.

speak Jesus

2009-10-09T09:57:00.000-06:00

it's easy to talk about church, yet never mention Jesus.

it's ironic that you can talk about being a Christian, yet never mention Jesus.

does this sadden anyone else?

churchy-types: when was the last time you talked about Jesus?

- actually talking about the Jesus you love, not just in a churchy-way

Christians: when was the last time you talked about Jesus?

- actually talking about the Jesus you follow, not just in a christiany-way

now, I'm not saying to get up on your soap-box.

what I am saying is to stop being such a wimp and actually speak Jesus (you know, the one you say you love and follow)

if not for Jesus, there would be no church.

if not for Jesus, there would be no Christians.

so stop speaking church. stop speaking christian.

and speak Jesus.

(re)innocence

2009-09-24T12:57:00.000-06:00

I want to see life through my son's eyes.

I want (re)innocence.

the years have left me seemingly jaded and skewed.

I want to see life through my son's eyes - trusting.

this is nothing new and nothing I haven't grappled with before.

as my eyes are opened more and more to 'reality' I can't help but think that 'reality' was closer at hand before.

I feign at maturity, I motion toward wisdom when all the while it's all simpler than I've made it out.

I want to see life through my son's eyes - ecstatic.

the drab and dark have left me numb. the conversations have left me wanting. the relationships have left me alone.

but this is not what I wanted. this is not what I started out to be(come).

I want to see life through my son's eyes - pure, unadulterated joy (yes, joy)

God, don't let me mess him up too bad.

I want to hold a starfish for the first time.

why church?

2009-09-23T15:20:00.000-06:00

attention, attention (said in French, obviously) churchy-types,

so, why church?

really, why are you a part of a Christian community?

I'm interested to know - mostly because I wonder about the reasons people would give.

my pessimism wonders:

- guilt?

- obligation?

- habit?

man, I hope it's something deeper than that. man, I want to be bombarded with stories of hope and love, forgiveness and care, compassion and faith.

so, what is it for you? why church?

I don't care...enough

2009-09-22T13:20:00.000-06:00

I wish I did. I wish I could.

really, believe me.

but I don't and can't care enough.

...

and yet, that is a major part of my vocation. that is a vital part of my life.

you see my dilemma?

most everyone's in some form of crisis - but I can't care enough.

I want to fix it. I want to change it. not out of pity, but out of friendship and togetherness. and love.

but I can't.

I don't want the cliche. I don't want the pat answer.

I want it to be different, somehow.

this is who I created myself as

2009-09-16T09:43:00.000-06:00

a quote from a dear friend: "this is who I created myself as" continues to spin in my head after 3 months have passed.

on an existential level, it smacks of things deep and hidden.

my friend explained to me the impetus behind such splendor:

- we have made choices, for better or worse - but our choices nonetheless

- these choices have defined us

- these choices have changed us

- these choices have created us as we are

like it or not, "this is who I created myself as" - this is who you created yourself as

what choices are you making today that will create who you are to be?

- these choices may be direct or indirect, but choices allthesame

who is the person deep inside you desire to be?

who is the person deep inside you were created to be?

are you enabling these changes or inhibiting them?

as you peer into the mirror tonight before you drift off to sleep - ask yourself honestly - am I satisfied with who I created myself as?

stress

2009-09-11T13:18:00.000-06:00

stress is an interesting thing. real or perceived - it's there.

it has intriguing physiological and psychological effects.

case in point:
- mind goes foggy
- ambition goes flat
- face goes slack

I'm not enjoying this at all.

I attempt to be one who encourages others to be completely present in the moment, but alas, I feel very distant in my own moment.

goodbye

2009-09-10T14:01:00.000-06:00

just starting into another book (far too many on the go - but hey..) called essential church by Rainer & Rainer.

the premise is this: many people no longer view Church as essential to their lives, why is this?

they listed off the top 10 reasons why people said they 'walked':

1) simply wanted a break from church

2) church members seemed judgmental or hypocritical

3) moved to college and stopped attending church

4) work responsibilities prevented me from attending

5) moved too far away from the church to continue attending

6) became too busy though still wanted to attend

7) didn't feel connected to the people in my church

8) disagreed with the church's stance on political or social issues

9) chose to spend more time with friends outside the church

10) was only going to church to please others

as a Pastor, none of these surprise me - actually most I've heard from dear friends.

many of my peers have walked, citing any number of reasons - few have stayed.

I am saddened at the lack of my generation's presence.

why did you leave? when are you coming back?

be the change you desire to see.

I know you think I'm daft. I know you think I'm lame - but I would guess that you and I agree more than we disagree.

either way, I hope you're living life to its fullest. I hope you're loving Jesus. I hope you're loving people.

what is wrong with your life?

2009-09-08T16:09:00.001-06:00

one aspect of this blog (read: life) that I've always struggled with is the degree of vulnerability to have just out there in the open for anyone with an internet connection to read. (just writing that is more vulnerable than I care to be)

with that in mind, let me share something that I typically reserve for those in my inner-circle.

I think running is crazy!

there, I said it.

I'm talking running for running's sake.

now, before you lecture me about the all the benefits of running, let me say - I have many friends and family who willingly choose to subject themselves to this form of self-punishment.

with the Queen City Marathon coming up in a few days, I've been seeing an inordinate amount of people jogging (they call it running - but it's not). but this is something typically bubbling under the surface of my mind often.

and now I think it's the time to get this off my chest:

...

Dear runners (but you and I both know you're joggers),

What is wrong with your life that makes you subject yourself to this?

Who are you running from?

What are you running from?

Why do you loathe yourself so much?

stop sweating and huffing and puffing long enough to sit down and talk to me about this, shall we?

Love, a non-jogger.

...

I see 3 groups in regards to jogging:

- crazy people who jog

- people who wished they were crazy enough to jog

- Tyson

before I alienate the sliver of readership I do have even further, let me say that I have the utmost respect for those of you who run-jog, the thing is - I just don't get it and would really like an explanation.

but more importantly, I was thinking about motivation.

today, I don't feel all that motivated and it got me to thinking: what motivates people?

and that got me to thinking: who are highly motivated people?

and that got me to thinking: joggers seem highly motivated, what motivates them?

so, you crazy/ self-driven people - what is it that motivates you?

schmolitics

2009-09-04T15:09:00.000-06:00

"The whole modern world has divided itself into Conservatives and Progressives. The business of Progressives is to go on making mistakes. The business of the Conservatives is to prevent the mistakes from being corrected." - C K Chesterton

at the risk of entering in a forum I rarely go, let me lightly dip my toes into this. I found this quote amusing.

can there be a more moderate approach to politics?
does everything have to be entirely polarizing?
do parties really agree more than they disagree?
why can't we all just get along?
what is your ideal approach to politics?

I had an nearly unitelligible conversation with a friend yesterday to this end - unitelligible because of my lacking, not his - though I use that word more for dramatic effect.

But it got me thinking.

do you?

hope against hope

2009-09-03T10:58:00.000-06:00

so, this weekend I will be teaching at my church (call it preaching if you will)

as I have mentioned before, this is extremely humbling (don't read as: Tyson thinks he's humble - read as: Tyson thinks he has little to no business doing this) and entirely sobering.

I plan on talking about hope.

I need hope.

I think there's probably 3 groups of people (let me pigeon-hole you - haha) in regards to hope:

1) those who see no need for hope, thinking life is what it is

2) those who have no hope, thinking life is sterile and bleak at best

3) those who have hope, thinking life is abundant and full at least

which one are you? or are you in another pigeon-hole altogether?

my friends and possibly enemies, there is hope and I need it.

I'm sorry (not out of pity) for those who have no hope. I'm sorry for those who see no need for hope.

I choose to (despite opposition) find my hope in Jesus. it's a choice I've made and continue to make.

call me crazy, call me pious, call me what you will.

this is not an easy choice - as “hope means hoping when things are hopeless, or it is no virtue at all.” - GK Chesterton.

now, don't get my wrong - many times I feel as though I bounce from one pigeon-hole to the next. yet, the person I desire and strive to be is one that finds hope.

today I choose to find hope.

savvy saskatchewan

2009-09-02T11:56:00.000-06:00

over the past few months of blogging, I've enjoyed readership from a broad spectrum of places.

but today, I'd like to pay special tribute to my fellow saskatchewanians (?)

let's hear it for:

Regina
Saskatoon
Silton

Moose Jaw
Weyburn
Prince Albert
Carlyle
Yorkton
Oxbow
Leader

*keep it savvy, Saskatchewan - don't let your dial-up get you down

audacious

2009-09-01T15:29:00.000-06:00

rant:

what gives you the right to speak for God?

it seems to me (and maybe it's just me) that some people take liberties when speaking on behalf of God - they claim: "this is the will of God." and who am I to disagree?

I hear things like:

- it's God's will that we get married.

- it's God's will that I take this job.

- it's God's will that I go to this church or that.

how far do you take God's will? how specific is this will?

- is it God's will what clothes you put on today?

- is it God's will which restaurant you ate at?

- is it God's will which deodorant you use?

now, these may seem laughable, but is there a difference? how far does this go?

some, in the name of God's will have killed.

some, in the name of God's will have raped.

some, in the name of God's will have done absolutely atrocious things.

what gives you the right to speak for God?

how do you know what God's will is?

be careful when you're using God as your excuse for those decisions you make.

I think God is more concerned with our hearts (cheezy - but I believe to be true allthesame) and attitudes. these leads to our actions and our decisions.

- be joyful, regardless of circumstance

- pray, regardless of circumstance

- be thankful, regardless of circumstance

but you and I both know you don't have to listen to me. afterall, who am I to speak for God?

echoes

2009-08-28T13:17:00.000-06:00

there are echoes.

echoes of what once was and what should have been.

I hear it in their voices, I see it in their eyes.

things were different, things were better.

do you hear it too?

we are all alone. separated. fragmented.

but there are echoes of what once was and what should have been.

this loneliness is indicative of these echoes.

maybe you hear it too.

...

I'm not content with just living in the echoes. I'm not content with living a fragmented life.

listen to the echoes, they may be deep within, supressed through years of numbness.

let us again become who we were meant to be - together.

mundane

2009-08-19T14:23:00.000-06:00

it's not always the worst case scenario
- truly
there are those who'd like to convince you otherwise.

it's not always the best case scenario
- truly
and there are those who'd like to convince you otherwise.

there are highs and lows - but most often it's in the mundane that life is lived.
- it's in that routine we find ourselves.

- is there life in your mundane?
- is there life in your routine?

tips for living

2009-08-14T10:09:00.000-06:00

when you stub your toe - blame God

when you lose your job - blame God

when your girlfriend breaks up with you - blame God

when you're all alone - blame God

when your best friend gets raped - blame God

when your grandma dies - blame God

when millions are starving - blame God

when it rains on the day you were planning on camping - blame God

when your sports team loses - blame God

when countless contract aids - blame God

when the parking lot is full - blame God

when you hate yourself - blame God

when you fail that test - blame God

when you're hungover - blame God

when there's war - blame God

...but...

when you don't stub your toe - praise yourself

when you get a job - praise yourself

when you get a girlfriend - praise yourself

when you're surrounded by friends - praise yourself

when you're best friend does not get raped - praise yourself

when you're grandma's alive - praise yourself

when millions have food - praise yourself

when it's sunny on the day you were planning on camping - praise yourself

when your sports team wins - praise yourself

when countless have not contracted aids - praise yourself

when the parking lot is empty - praise yourself

when you're content with yourself - praise yourself

when you pass that test - praise yourself

when you're sober - praise yourself

when there's peace - praise yourself

blog ideas?

2009-08-12T10:51:00.000-06:00

As I sat with my laptop one night, reading a friend's blog with a black background and white text, I found when I looked away my retinas were burning and there were lines floating in the air around me. "This is not conducive to enjoyable blog reading" - I thought to myself, crying a small tear of blurred vision.

This led me to change the background colour and text on this delightful blog which you are currently reading. I hope you can appreciate the change.

With that in mind - I'm looking for suggestions, ideas, concepts, etc to improve Ineloquent Anthem. I would be honoured if you were to take the time to offer anything you might have. If someone savvy enough would even be willing to develop a template for me - that'd be swell.

I also enjoy reading other blogs and am looking for suggestions in that realm as well. What are you reading that you would suggest?

Thanks muchly for your readership - I look forward to continuing this journey with you.

everything is not as it seems

2009-08-11T11:42:00.000-06:00

you may think it is - but it's not.

sorry.

not that it's better or worse per se - just different.

there are many things hidden. many things strange. many things secret.

your view is but one. limited. subjective. skewed.

humbling, no?

...
sometimes I even think the sky is blue.
...

are you so confident that what you know is true? could it be possible that there are things beyond your realm of comprehension?

when were you last dumbfounded? why has it been so long?

why have you become so numb?

embrace your pain. own it.

...
sometimes I even think the sky is blue.

you're boring

2009-08-05T11:54:00.000-06:00

I'm in a strange mood (might be the v-neck)...

having just returned from speaking at camp for the week, my outlook seems different. not earth-shattering epiphane-type stuff. just a tweak here and a tweak there.

Christians overall are pretty boring. but not for the reasons you might initially think. not because of legalism. not because of morals (well, maybe a weird misinterpretation). but because they're just plain boring.

where's the life? where's the love? where's the flavour?

the Jesus I know had life, had love and had flavour. having just walked through the sermon on the mount, something that comes to mind is Jesus' call for his followers to be salt.

yaddi, yadda - old news for you?

salt brings flava (flavour)

you follow Jesus? stop being so boring. live a full life. live a life full of love. and at least try to have a little flavour and add a little to this world while you're at it.

belligerent obscurity

2009-07-29T17:14:00.000-06:00

do you care enough to leave your comfort? enough to entertain interruptions? enough to give something of yourself - your time, your life, your resources?

I don't care who you are. I don't care if you subscribe to Jesus, buddha, atheism, agnosticism, or a melange. If what you follow does not include the compassionate care of others, you are missing an integral aspect to life.

If your hatred or ambivalence towards God spills over to your fellow human being - you're lacking.
If your passion or fervour towards God does not spill over to your fellow human being - you're lacking.

Regardless of where you stand with God - if your life does not include care for others, my friend - you are truly lacking.

Show me how your self-indulgent narcissism has added value to another. Show me how your ego-centric thinking has improved another.

Or possibly, you pay lip-service to caring. You feign at sacrifice. You robotically appease your conscience.

do you care enough?

ps - just chalk this up as another unfounded guilt-trip, relegated to belligerent obscurity